A kinky sex addict tells all. Does Kinky Sex Lead to Sex Addiction?.



A kinky sex addict tells all

A kinky sex addict tells all

Samantha Gluck Phillip Sharp Ph. He works with sex addicts, their spouses or partners, and families. Sharp is our guest speaker tonight. David is the HealthyPlace. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference.

I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace. Our topic tonight is "Sexual Addiction". Our guest is psychologist, Dr. Phillip Sharp, who is a specialist in the field of sexual addiction counseling. Phillip Sharp's early training included work with families dealing with incest and sexual perpetration issues. Over the past 5 years, Dr. Sharp has developed a specialty in the field of Sexual Addiction counseling, working with sex addicts, their spouses or partners and families. We'll be talking about treatments for sexual addiction as well as the impact it has on family members -- and more importantly, what can be done to help.

Sharp and welcome to HealthyPlace. We appreciate you being here tonight. I know our audience members have different levels of understanding, so briefly, can you define sexual addiction. Then we'll get into deeper issues. The definition varies depending upon what expert you talk to. Generally, it is a pathological relationship with a mood altering experience.

In this case - sex. How does a person develop sexual addiction? There are various paths by which a person can progress down the road of sexual addiction. Most people have some pain or injury that they seek to heal, numb or medicate. The sexual behavior becomes their primary coping mechanism. And just so everyone knows, does sexual addiction only involve sex with other individuals, or does it cover pornography and other sexual activities?

It covers any activities related to the theme of sex. It is not simply acting out with another person. It includes, pornography, fantasy, masturbation, numbers, etc. The important point to remember is that it is a pathological relationship. Out of the ordinary. When you spoke of "pain" or "injury" a moment ago, I'm assuming you are talking about emotional or psychological pain. Can you explain further?

The pain usually has to do with some experienced or perceived injury, which the person may or may not be consciously aware of. It can include things such as emotional neglect in the family of origin, rejection from peers or even childhood abuse. What kind of treatment is involved in dealing with sexual addiction? It depends on the persons underlying issues pain and the level of their addiction. Some folks can do fine in a general weekly therapy session with an appropriately trained professional.

The therapy will likely need to be supplemented by participation in a step recovery group. Other folks who have a deeper level of addiction may need to go away to an inpatient treatment center. Does a person who has a sexual addiction usually have other addictions drug, alcohol as well? That is often the case. I would say it is more the norm that they will either have another addiction or abuse some other substance or process. We have a few audience questions Dr. It can help to trigger it.

Usually, depression and anxiety are due to other underlying issues. Like other addictions, I imagine there is "no cure," but rather sexual addiction is managed on a day-by-day basis. Yes, that is true. A person is typically in recovery for the rest of their lives. And what about the ability of a sex addict to have close personal relationships?

When the sexual addiction is active, it usually severely hampers and disturbs truly intimate relationships. It is hard to spend all of the time that the addict puts into their acting out behaviors and still maintain the level of attention that a personal and close relationship requires.

In recovery, the person has the best chance of maintaining close relationships. Here's another audience question: I have heard it said that not all love addicts are sex addicts but all sex addicts are love addicts. Sex addiction has nothing to do with love really. It's really about loneliness, the inability to connect intimately and an attempt to deal with the pain of the real loneliness. At the heart of it, sex addicts, although some are extremely sociable and outgoing, are truly lonely people who feel disconnected.

Being new to this, what is "acting out". In other words, what types of behaviors would be considered acting out - besides the obvious? A person can act out or act in. Acting out refers to behaviors external to the self, such as careless and senseless sex, masturbation, pornography, chat rooms and numbers.

A person can act in with fantasy and distorted perception of reality. What can a person do to help their spouse understand the addiction? I suggest that first of all, you educate yourself by reading some of the books written on the issue. For instance, Patrick Carnes, PhD has authored a number of good books. His original work was entitled Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction , he also wrote: Once you get an understanding of the addiction, then you need to think about confronting your partner with the unhealthy behaviors that you have observed.

If you find this difficult, you may want to consult with a professional. Its just as important for the partner to get support and assistance. I'm sure it is very difficult on spouses and partners of addicts too, especially since fidelity is the cornerstone of most marriages.

How is a spouse or partner supposed to "understand" this type of behavior? It's a sickness, a disease, and it usually doesn't appear out of nowhere. The disease has been growing for a long time. It may have taken a while to manifest, or your partner may have not been honest with you about past behaviors and struggles.

Sharp ever worked with a married couple where both were sex and love addicts? It is a fairly common scenario to have sex and love addicts partnered together.

It is a little more common to see women who are sex and love addicts, versus men. Here's a question from someone with Multiple Personality Disorder: I am wondering how does Dr. Sharp handles a person with Multiple Personality Disorder, that has an alter who is sexually addicted? I don't do much work with MPD. To date, I have not worked with an alter that was a sex addict. I would think that a therapist would need to treat that alter for the sexual addiction while attempting to continue the integrative therapy.

What are the chances of achieving a healthy relationship with a sex addict? It depends on so many things. Sharp, what would you say the percentage is of adult male sex addicts in America today, dealing with homosexual desire for preteen aged children?

I don't know that we have good data available to definitely answer that question. It also depends on what and how you define desire. Many sex addicts who consider themselves heterosexual will occasionally "cross the line" in the service of their addiction.

Sexual addiction covers all sexual orientations, and all homosexuals or bisexuals are not sex addicts. Is it odd for a co-sex addict to change her mind about the relationship and decide to leave even after the sexual addict has worked toward recovery?

Often, when one person in the relationship or system starts to get recovery, the other person leaves, because they don't want to give up their co-dependence of the sex addict.

Does that go along the same lines as "misery loves company? Do most sex addicts really change? I can't really answer that, because I don't know most of them. I can tell you it is possible to change.

The journey is a difficult one for most people however, and there is a tendency to experience many relapses, as with other addictions, before a person commits to and stays in recovery.

What level of sex addiction warrants impatient treatment?

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A kinky sex addict tells all

Samantha Gluck Phillip Sharp Ph. He works with sex addicts, their spouses or partners, and families. Sharp is our guest speaker tonight. David is the HealthyPlace. I'm the moderator for tonight's conference. I want to welcome everyone to HealthyPlace.

Our topic tonight is "Sexual Addiction". Our guest is psychologist, Dr. Phillip Sharp, who is a specialist in the field of sexual addiction counseling. Phillip Sharp's early training included work with families dealing with incest and sexual perpetration issues. Over the past 5 years, Dr. Sharp has developed a specialty in the field of Sexual Addiction counseling, working with sex addicts, their spouses or partners and families.

We'll be talking about treatments for sexual addiction as well as the impact it has on family members -- and more importantly, what can be done to help. Sharp and welcome to HealthyPlace. We appreciate you being here tonight. I know our audience members have different levels of understanding, so briefly, can you define sexual addiction. Then we'll get into deeper issues. The definition varies depending upon what expert you talk to. Generally, it is a pathological relationship with a mood altering experience.

In this case - sex. How does a person develop sexual addiction? There are various paths by which a person can progress down the road of sexual addiction. Most people have some pain or injury that they seek to heal, numb or medicate. The sexual behavior becomes their primary coping mechanism. And just so everyone knows, does sexual addiction only involve sex with other individuals, or does it cover pornography and other sexual activities?

It covers any activities related to the theme of sex. It is not simply acting out with another person. It includes, pornography, fantasy, masturbation, numbers, etc. The important point to remember is that it is a pathological relationship. Out of the ordinary. When you spoke of "pain" or "injury" a moment ago, I'm assuming you are talking about emotional or psychological pain. Can you explain further? The pain usually has to do with some experienced or perceived injury, which the person may or may not be consciously aware of.

It can include things such as emotional neglect in the family of origin, rejection from peers or even childhood abuse. What kind of treatment is involved in dealing with sexual addiction? It depends on the persons underlying issues pain and the level of their addiction. Some folks can do fine in a general weekly therapy session with an appropriately trained professional. The therapy will likely need to be supplemented by participation in a step recovery group.

Other folks who have a deeper level of addiction may need to go away to an inpatient treatment center. Does a person who has a sexual addiction usually have other addictions drug, alcohol as well? That is often the case. I would say it is more the norm that they will either have another addiction or abuse some other substance or process.

We have a few audience questions Dr. It can help to trigger it. Usually, depression and anxiety are due to other underlying issues. Like other addictions, I imagine there is "no cure," but rather sexual addiction is managed on a day-by-day basis.

Yes, that is true. A person is typically in recovery for the rest of their lives. And what about the ability of a sex addict to have close personal relationships? When the sexual addiction is active, it usually severely hampers and disturbs truly intimate relationships. It is hard to spend all of the time that the addict puts into their acting out behaviors and still maintain the level of attention that a personal and close relationship requires.

In recovery, the person has the best chance of maintaining close relationships. Here's another audience question: I have heard it said that not all love addicts are sex addicts but all sex addicts are love addicts. Sex addiction has nothing to do with love really. It's really about loneliness, the inability to connect intimately and an attempt to deal with the pain of the real loneliness.

At the heart of it, sex addicts, although some are extremely sociable and outgoing, are truly lonely people who feel disconnected.

Being new to this, what is "acting out". In other words, what types of behaviors would be considered acting out - besides the obvious?

A person can act out or act in. Acting out refers to behaviors external to the self, such as careless and senseless sex, masturbation, pornography, chat rooms and numbers. A person can act in with fantasy and distorted perception of reality. What can a person do to help their spouse understand the addiction? I suggest that first of all, you educate yourself by reading some of the books written on the issue. For instance, Patrick Carnes, PhD has authored a number of good books.

His original work was entitled Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction , he also wrote: Once you get an understanding of the addiction, then you need to think about confronting your partner with the unhealthy behaviors that you have observed.

If you find this difficult, you may want to consult with a professional. Its just as important for the partner to get support and assistance. I'm sure it is very difficult on spouses and partners of addicts too, especially since fidelity is the cornerstone of most marriages. How is a spouse or partner supposed to "understand" this type of behavior?

It's a sickness, a disease, and it usually doesn't appear out of nowhere. The disease has been growing for a long time.

It may have taken a while to manifest, or your partner may have not been honest with you about past behaviors and struggles. Sharp ever worked with a married couple where both were sex and love addicts?

It is a fairly common scenario to have sex and love addicts partnered together. It is a little more common to see women who are sex and love addicts, versus men. Here's a question from someone with Multiple Personality Disorder: I am wondering how does Dr. Sharp handles a person with Multiple Personality Disorder, that has an alter who is sexually addicted? I don't do much work with MPD. To date, I have not worked with an alter that was a sex addict. I would think that a therapist would need to treat that alter for the sexual addiction while attempting to continue the integrative therapy.

What are the chances of achieving a healthy relationship with a sex addict? It depends on so many things. Sharp, what would you say the percentage is of adult male sex addicts in America today, dealing with homosexual desire for preteen aged children?

I don't know that we have good data available to definitely answer that question. It also depends on what and how you define desire. Many sex addicts who consider themselves heterosexual will occasionally "cross the line" in the service of their addiction. Sexual addiction covers all sexual orientations, and all homosexuals or bisexuals are not sex addicts. Is it odd for a co-sex addict to change her mind about the relationship and decide to leave even after the sexual addict has worked toward recovery?

Often, when one person in the relationship or system starts to get recovery, the other person leaves, because they don't want to give up their co-dependence of the sex addict. Does that go along the same lines as "misery loves company? Do most sex addicts really change? I can't really answer that, because I don't know most of them. I can tell you it is possible to change. The journey is a difficult one for most people however, and there is a tendency to experience many relapses, as with other addictions, before a person commits to and stays in recovery.

What level of sex addiction warrants impatient treatment?

A kinky sex addict tells all

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