Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. We reached out to marriage therapists and sex experts to share the advice they give women stuck in sexually unsatisfying marriages.
Read what they had to say below. Eivaisla Images via Getty Images "Many women are the ones with a higher sex drive in their marriages but women commonly don't discuss this dynamic openly with friends. Also, the media portrayal of relationships makes women think that males have a constant high level of sexual desire.
On the contrary, many women struggle in sexless marriages. Outside of therapy, I'd say that finding a support system can be invaluable. There are forums online where women share their experiences, such as the Dead Bedrooms forum on Reddit. It is no indicator of how sexy you are as a woman if he is initiating or not. Many times men stop initiating sex because they are stressed or they are experiencing some kind of erectile dysfunction and they're too afraid to tell you.
Men define their sexuality by their ability to perform and if they cannot achieve an erection upon demand they may withdraw. Keep being affectionate and let him know there is no pressure to get to the 'finish line. If he wants to participate, he might find himself more turned on than he thought himself capable. Don't wait for him to take charge. It is OK as the woman to be the driving force of your sex life. That said, if several months have passed with no sex and it's troubling you, the matter needs to be addressed.
Sometimes, all you need to do is communicate. But there may be physical, psychological or marital issues that require work. If it turns out there is a physical issue -- your over husband is having trouble maintaining erections, for instance -- a trip to the doctor can do wonders. But if the issue is decreased physical attraction, know that it usually has less to do with appearance and more to do with unexpressed and unresolved unhappiness in the relationship or marriage.
If this is the case, you're in the right place: Have him schedule an appointment with a urologist. Rule out any health problems before you begin talking about what could be happening emotionally. When you have ruled out cancer, his testosterone levels have been checked, and you have had discussions around his stress levels, then you can look deeper into your relationship. I recommend going to professional in almost all cases if either partner is still emotionally committed to their sexless marriage.
But if your partner really doesn't give a damn about you or the marriage and the two of you are just co-existing, then you really need to think about what you want the rest of your life to be like. To start, a little romance never hurts. And yes, I am talking about toys, new positions, new places and unexpected romance within your relationship. Be intimate, share quiet moments where you simply look at each other, hold hands and talk about your feelings.
Nothing, not even sex, is more intimate than having a compassionate partner who has your back. As for the sex itself, try mixing it up. Tell your spouse about your secret sexual fantasy, and ask if he or she is willing to try it. And then ask about your partner's secret fantasy and offer to indulge it.