Asking someone to have sex. 30 Fabulous Ways To Tell A Person You Want To Have Sex.



Asking someone to have sex

Asking someone to have sex

How to Ask For Sex The fabulous Clarisse Thorn wrote a great article in which she asks why men who are honest about their sexual desires get written off as creepy among other things.

In my experience, most of the people who talk and write about male sexual energy and how men act upon it are women. While I owe a huge debt to the many women who helped me shape my understanding and practices, I would love to see more men taking a lead around this.

Thomas at Yes Means Yes is one of the few other men I see talking about it. I think that dealing with them is a different issue than what I want to focus on at the moment because I think that different strategies are needed.

Now, I want to be very clear that I get that men tend to throw their sexual attention around, without understanding how that can be intrusive, invasive and triggering. Most men have no idea how tedious or worse it can be. So one part of not coming across as creepy is getting a better understanding of that and its impact on women. Read it and pass it on.

But it is a much more common issue in those contexts, both due to the ways that sexism shapes male-female relationships differently from male-male relationships, and because men flirting with or cruising men often do it differently. Similarly, when women flirt with or cruise anyone of any gender, the dynamics are different. One of the biggest reasons that some men come across as creepy is that most of us never learn good ways to ask for sex. So is it any surprise that there have been so many men seeking advice from pick up artists and the seduction community?

Yes, a lot of them are looking for ways to manipulate women. If you go into the situation with a specific goal in mind i. The more you can leave things open to possibilities, the more room you can give you partner.

Bear in mind that there is a huge range of sexual activities that can be lots and lots of fun. Stop focusing on intercourse and discover how many other possibilities you have. And as part of that, let go of the idea that anyone other than you is responsible for your pleasure or orgasm. Nobody owes you sex. Nobody owes you an orgasm. You, and you alone, are responsible for it.

You have just as much agency around their desires as they have around yours. If you genuinely want to have her consent, and you want her to believe that, try starting off with something like: They invite and require her to make a positive statement, while making room for her to say no. Second, they remind you that she has just as much room to say yes or no as you do.

This will can help you manage and contain your sexual energy until you get a clear statement of consent from her. And that is a good thing to practice.

I would like to have sex with you. Find the words that are authentic to you and come up with phrases that feel more natural when you say them. When you directly and clearly state your desires, when you can own them, you are speaking from a place of power and strength. This is a major shift because most of us actually feel powerless around sex. When we feel powerless, we often slip into patterns of passivity which can lead to passive aggression or violence.

When we discover our power, we can let go of either of those and be strong. All perfectly fine options. You could practice with each other sometime, which gives you the opportunity to tell each other if any phrases are especially good or particularly challenging for you. And of course, you could ask her to practice asking you for sex, using this framework or something else.

You can also practice this in non-sexual settings. Some of us are fortunate to have been taught or to have figured it out. So I invite you to give this a shot and see how it goes. Feel free to comment below or send me a note. I offer a free 30 minute Get Acquainted call, so we can discuss your situation and how I can help you figure it out.

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$2000 to have sex with a stranger.



Asking someone to have sex

How to Ask For Sex The fabulous Clarisse Thorn wrote a great article in which she asks why men who are honest about their sexual desires get written off as creepy among other things. In my experience, most of the people who talk and write about male sexual energy and how men act upon it are women. While I owe a huge debt to the many women who helped me shape my understanding and practices, I would love to see more men taking a lead around this.

Thomas at Yes Means Yes is one of the few other men I see talking about it. I think that dealing with them is a different issue than what I want to focus on at the moment because I think that different strategies are needed.

Now, I want to be very clear that I get that men tend to throw their sexual attention around, without understanding how that can be intrusive, invasive and triggering. Most men have no idea how tedious or worse it can be. So one part of not coming across as creepy is getting a better understanding of that and its impact on women. Read it and pass it on.

But it is a much more common issue in those contexts, both due to the ways that sexism shapes male-female relationships differently from male-male relationships, and because men flirting with or cruising men often do it differently. Similarly, when women flirt with or cruise anyone of any gender, the dynamics are different.

One of the biggest reasons that some men come across as creepy is that most of us never learn good ways to ask for sex. So is it any surprise that there have been so many men seeking advice from pick up artists and the seduction community?

Yes, a lot of them are looking for ways to manipulate women. If you go into the situation with a specific goal in mind i. The more you can leave things open to possibilities, the more room you can give you partner. Bear in mind that there is a huge range of sexual activities that can be lots and lots of fun. Stop focusing on intercourse and discover how many other possibilities you have.

And as part of that, let go of the idea that anyone other than you is responsible for your pleasure or orgasm. Nobody owes you sex. Nobody owes you an orgasm. You, and you alone, are responsible for it. You have just as much agency around their desires as they have around yours.

If you genuinely want to have her consent, and you want her to believe that, try starting off with something like: They invite and require her to make a positive statement, while making room for her to say no. Second, they remind you that she has just as much room to say yes or no as you do. This will can help you manage and contain your sexual energy until you get a clear statement of consent from her. And that is a good thing to practice. I would like to have sex with you.

Find the words that are authentic to you and come up with phrases that feel more natural when you say them. When you directly and clearly state your desires, when you can own them, you are speaking from a place of power and strength. This is a major shift because most of us actually feel powerless around sex. When we feel powerless, we often slip into patterns of passivity which can lead to passive aggression or violence.

When we discover our power, we can let go of either of those and be strong. All perfectly fine options. You could practice with each other sometime, which gives you the opportunity to tell each other if any phrases are especially good or particularly challenging for you.

And of course, you could ask her to practice asking you for sex, using this framework or something else. You can also practice this in non-sexual settings. Some of us are fortunate to have been taught or to have figured it out. So I invite you to give this a shot and see how it goes.

Feel free to comment below or send me a note. I offer a free 30 minute Get Acquainted call, so we can discuss your situation and how I can help you figure it out.

Asking someone to have sex

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4 Comments

  1. I have known a few, who, even with mutual attraction and no other entanglements have indeed turned down sex. But, I can tell that he has manners, and I'm worried he's not going to bring it up, and then we might end up with some awkward situation because we both just wanted a lay but were too polite to bring it up. Trial basis agreement perhaps?

  2. I realize that there is a possibility that I could go for a drink with him and fall head over heels and want to be in a relationship, but really, I know me, and I suspect that I am just going to want sex. That's because people in general like to feel like they're in control and there is nothing that says you're in control more than doing the opposite of what someone is telling you to do. This is one area where women have the upper hand in merely asking for what they want.

  3. It has been my experience that there are plenty of men who feel uncomfortable with casual sex.

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