Biblical seven years without sex. The 7 Reasons why God made Sex.



Biblical seven years without sex

Biblical seven years without sex

Pastor, Minneapolis, Minnesota Sometimes sex should stop in marriage. The sometimes is really important. Not all the time. And, at the same time, be sure that sometimes really means some-times. These are actual moments, or seasons, that never present themselves as the anomaly they should prove to be in the long run.

The biblical text on this topic is 1 Corinthians 7: One error is to use this passage to support a pattern of self-fulfilling sexual demands; the other is to use this passage to fuel a culture of fear in the marriage relationship — and both combine to produce damaging implications. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

As mentioned above, this is pretty straightforward. Sex between a husband and a wife should be common. Sex is integral to the marriage relationship. It is due, Paul explains in verse 3, a right, happily owed by one another to one another.

There is an exception to this command, but one that is heavily qualified. A husband and wife should abstain from sex when 1 they both agree to abstain; 2 it is for a limited time; and 3 it is for the purpose of prayer and the eventual resuming of intercourse. This exception should be rare — so rare, as one commentator observes, that in verse 6 Paul takes another step to highlight its infrequency by calling it a concession, not a command Anthony Thiselton, NIGTC, The Epistle to the First Corinthians.

So if this is the case, why should we even talk about sexual abstinence in marriage? If Paul is so clear on how rare it should be, why bother discussing it? When we look at these verses isolated from the meaning of sex and a theology of the body, the apostle seems to be saying to Christian couples: He is making a self-fulfilling demand — something Paul has eliminated in 1 Corinthians 7: The husband, whose body belongs to Christ 1 Corinthians 6: He relinquished that right in marriage.

The wife has authority over his body now, and he has authority over her body — which means that his sexual desires should be consistent with what is in the best interest of her body, not his. One application of this text might be more sex for some couples, but the text is betrayed when it becomes the basis for berating our spouse for sex.

While it circulates among women, perhaps primarily from an aging generation, men are probably at fault. Paul twice mentions the temptation to sexual immorality as one motive, among others, to keep the marriage bed active 1 Corinthians 7: But the issue is complex. Pleasure is a part of the meaning of sex, along with the purposes of affirming the marriage covenant, procreation, love, and more.

By misunderstanding this one purpose and letting it eclipse the others, pleasure can easily morph into sexual greed. The husband who threatens an extramarital affair if the sex dries up is not acting like a Christian. It is tragic that there are women in Bible-believing churches who have sex with their husbands out of fear. This is a culture of fear, not faithfulness. Could there be anything more distant from what a Christian marriage should be?

This is not the path of marital intimacy, and it emphatically is not the Christian vision. Sex Is Deep Magic Both of these misuses undermine the wonder of sex. The first makes it all about the individual, the other makes it a pawn. Truly, sex is magical. The Christian husband wants to serve his wife; the Christian wife wants to serve her husband.

Both want to outdo one another in showing honor Romans Both count the other more significant than themselves Philippians 2: He wants to please her, and so is prone not to demand what she finds unpleasant to give. Where the Husband Leads The mutuality of sex seen in 1 Corinthians 7: It is a terrible mistake to apply the pattern of gender roles to this issue of sex in such a way that the husband, by virtue of his headship, requires the wife to submit to him sexually.

This is absolutely not the case. Husbands, then, are to lay down their lives, not make sexual demands according to selfish pleasure. Speaking specifically to men, sometimes the best way you can serve your wife sexually is by not seeking it. Sometimes the abstinence route is the masculine thing to do.

There seems to be a disconnect on this point in our day. There has been a simultaneous rise in Christian literature of both books on manhood and books on sex, but very little has been said about how to be a godly man in the bedroom.

The typical advice seems to play right into our sex-crazed world, as if Christians are going to impress the world by proving that we have sex, too. The message that turned the world upside was not that Christians enjoy monogamous sexual pleasure, but that Jesus loved us to the uttermost by giving up his life for our good. In Your Bedroom This is for real-life. This call to serve — and sometimes abstain — goes for both spouses. The effects are felt the moment a husband or wife walks into the bedroom and finds their spouse, whose body is under their authority, not feeling up to par.

Maybe this is a surprise, perhaps an unforeseen end to an earlier expectation. Maybe just for a few nights, or maybe many months, depending on the situation, the sex should stop and we should pray.

We should lead our wives in prayer that our marriage reflect the glory of Christ and his gospel, that God transpose the unfulfilled passion for sex into an enjoyment of his sufficiency, and that, as much as possible, the circumstances that made the sex stop stay a sometimes. Recent posts from Jonathan Parnell:

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Biblical seven years without sex

Pastor, Minneapolis, Minnesota Sometimes sex should stop in marriage. The sometimes is really important. Not all the time. And, at the same time, be sure that sometimes really means some-times. These are actual moments, or seasons, that never present themselves as the anomaly they should prove to be in the long run.

The biblical text on this topic is 1 Corinthians 7: One error is to use this passage to support a pattern of self-fulfilling sexual demands; the other is to use this passage to fuel a culture of fear in the marriage relationship — and both combine to produce damaging implications. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. As mentioned above, this is pretty straightforward. Sex between a husband and a wife should be common.

Sex is integral to the marriage relationship. It is due, Paul explains in verse 3, a right, happily owed by one another to one another. There is an exception to this command, but one that is heavily qualified. A husband and wife should abstain from sex when 1 they both agree to abstain; 2 it is for a limited time; and 3 it is for the purpose of prayer and the eventual resuming of intercourse. This exception should be rare — so rare, as one commentator observes, that in verse 6 Paul takes another step to highlight its infrequency by calling it a concession, not a command Anthony Thiselton, NIGTC, The Epistle to the First Corinthians.

So if this is the case, why should we even talk about sexual abstinence in marriage? If Paul is so clear on how rare it should be, why bother discussing it? When we look at these verses isolated from the meaning of sex and a theology of the body, the apostle seems to be saying to Christian couples: He is making a self-fulfilling demand — something Paul has eliminated in 1 Corinthians 7: The husband, whose body belongs to Christ 1 Corinthians 6: He relinquished that right in marriage.

The wife has authority over his body now, and he has authority over her body — which means that his sexual desires should be consistent with what is in the best interest of her body, not his. One application of this text might be more sex for some couples, but the text is betrayed when it becomes the basis for berating our spouse for sex.

While it circulates among women, perhaps primarily from an aging generation, men are probably at fault. Paul twice mentions the temptation to sexual immorality as one motive, among others, to keep the marriage bed active 1 Corinthians 7: But the issue is complex.

Pleasure is a part of the meaning of sex, along with the purposes of affirming the marriage covenant, procreation, love, and more. By misunderstanding this one purpose and letting it eclipse the others, pleasure can easily morph into sexual greed. The husband who threatens an extramarital affair if the sex dries up is not acting like a Christian.

It is tragic that there are women in Bible-believing churches who have sex with their husbands out of fear. This is a culture of fear, not faithfulness. Could there be anything more distant from what a Christian marriage should be? This is not the path of marital intimacy, and it emphatically is not the Christian vision.

Sex Is Deep Magic Both of these misuses undermine the wonder of sex. The first makes it all about the individual, the other makes it a pawn. Truly, sex is magical. The Christian husband wants to serve his wife; the Christian wife wants to serve her husband. Both want to outdo one another in showing honor Romans Both count the other more significant than themselves Philippians 2: He wants to please her, and so is prone not to demand what she finds unpleasant to give.

Where the Husband Leads The mutuality of sex seen in 1 Corinthians 7: It is a terrible mistake to apply the pattern of gender roles to this issue of sex in such a way that the husband, by virtue of his headship, requires the wife to submit to him sexually.

This is absolutely not the case. Husbands, then, are to lay down their lives, not make sexual demands according to selfish pleasure. Speaking specifically to men, sometimes the best way you can serve your wife sexually is by not seeking it.

Sometimes the abstinence route is the masculine thing to do. There seems to be a disconnect on this point in our day. There has been a simultaneous rise in Christian literature of both books on manhood and books on sex, but very little has been said about how to be a godly man in the bedroom.

The typical advice seems to play right into our sex-crazed world, as if Christians are going to impress the world by proving that we have sex, too. The message that turned the world upside was not that Christians enjoy monogamous sexual pleasure, but that Jesus loved us to the uttermost by giving up his life for our good. In Your Bedroom This is for real-life.

This call to serve — and sometimes abstain — goes for both spouses. The effects are felt the moment a husband or wife walks into the bedroom and finds their spouse, whose body is under their authority, not feeling up to par.

Maybe this is a surprise, perhaps an unforeseen end to an earlier expectation. Maybe just for a few nights, or maybe many months, depending on the situation, the sex should stop and we should pray. We should lead our wives in prayer that our marriage reflect the glory of Christ and his gospel, that God transpose the unfulfilled passion for sex into an enjoyment of his sufficiency, and that, as much as possible, the circumstances that made the sex stop stay a sometimes.

Recent posts from Jonathan Parnell:

Biblical seven years without sex

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5 Comments

  1. Each sin goes against the root of Christianity which is: I would say first that in our fallen world and culture, sex is viewed primarily in terms of selfish pleasure. As this event becomes a reality in your life, the seven deadly sins of gluttony, envy, sloth, wrath, pride, lust, and greed will lose their power in your life.

  2. A sexually frustrated and irritated mate is not a good prayer partner. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Pulpit Commentary Verse

  3. One thing many Corinthians share is their disdain for the Apostle Paul. Truly, sex is magical.

  4. This is the same verb used in 6: What is most impressive in chapter 7 is the gentleness of the Apostle Paul. The writer to the Hebrews also held marriage in high esteem, and the proper realm for sexual enjoyment between husband and wife.

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