Dating and sex in your 50s. Are You Still Sexual?.



Dating and sex in your 50s

Dating and sex in your 50s

Older women dating younger men Join AARP Today — Receive access to exclusive information, benefits and discounts Then she sat up and pulled her sweater over her head.

Shock must have shown on my face. Seeing it, she dropped the S-bomb: Driving home, I wondered: Would all my dates prove this topsy-turvy? Countless online posts by boomer women complain of men who demand sex on the second date, and sometimes on the first. I've come to sympathize with them: Devaluing the goal of getting to know someone first strikes me as both dismissive and disrespectful.

Indeed, men and women! An emotional bond enhances both partners' sense of safety, confidence and desirability. Midlife sex with a stranger, by contrast, seems more like masturbating. Where's the love in that?

I finally did meet a woman with relationship potential. Before she could ask me the Dreaded Question, I hastened to mention that I was still sexual but wanted to establish an emotional connection first. She smiled in agreement. Our previous relationships had taught us that becoming sexual too quickly was usually a mistake. Now we were both looking for something enduring — and we knew that couldn't happen overnight.

Six months into our relationship, we're enjoying a sexual relationship based on sweet feelings of trust and mutual respect. The reason that boomer relationships can be so fraught is that both partners often carry dating baggage bulging at the seams. So rather than answering or asking the question "Are you still sexual? That means you can take your time — and fall in love before you fall into bed.

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Dating and sex in your 50s

Older women dating younger men Join AARP Today — Receive access to exclusive information, benefits and discounts Then she sat up and pulled her sweater over her head. Shock must have shown on my face.

Seeing it, she dropped the S-bomb: Driving home, I wondered: Would all my dates prove this topsy-turvy? Countless online posts by boomer women complain of men who demand sex on the second date, and sometimes on the first. I've come to sympathize with them: Devaluing the goal of getting to know someone first strikes me as both dismissive and disrespectful.

Indeed, men and women! An emotional bond enhances both partners' sense of safety, confidence and desirability. Midlife sex with a stranger, by contrast, seems more like masturbating. Where's the love in that? I finally did meet a woman with relationship potential. Before she could ask me the Dreaded Question, I hastened to mention that I was still sexual but wanted to establish an emotional connection first. She smiled in agreement. Our previous relationships had taught us that becoming sexual too quickly was usually a mistake.

Now we were both looking for something enduring — and we knew that couldn't happen overnight. Six months into our relationship, we're enjoying a sexual relationship based on sweet feelings of trust and mutual respect. The reason that boomer relationships can be so fraught is that both partners often carry dating baggage bulging at the seams. So rather than answering or asking the question "Are you still sexual? That means you can take your time — and fall in love before you fall into bed.

Dating and sex in your 50s

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4 Comments

  1. Did I like cleaning? I spent far too long dating men I felt sorry for rather than thinking about what I really wanted. That means you can take your time — and fall in love before you fall into bed.

  2. This is a tricky area and one which, when we were all first dating, never had to think about.

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