The phrase "glopping sound" is used, and semen can apparently be measured in years. It's widely believed this was an example of Stylistic Suck. Fanfiction The notorious and now, notoriously hard to find Badfic "Celebrian" was filthy. But as said by one who got all the way through it Half the time I don't even go 'ew'. I just look at the scroll bar and think, "What? Not even halfway through? An actual quote from the story reads "He put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
Raven's first time described in a separate posting on adult-fanfiction. It is a creepily clinical piece. A later time with Beast Boy whom she does love is a definite aversion. One night of the drop of rain: Used effectively in that it's meant to demonstrate the casual emptiness of Andy's life.
In Van Wilder , Richard, the Jerk Ass premed love rival to the titular character, uses anatomical terms to describe what he's doing during sex with Gwen. Justified with film screenplays, as they are meant to declare the on-camera shots, not describe them. For instance, in the script for Atonement , the sex scene on page 33 may sound rather Beige Prose -like. However, the actual scene itself is generally recognized as one of the best filmed.
Literature The Clan of the Cave Bear series with the exception of the first book has pages and pages of this stuff the sex scenes average at least six pages each largely devoted to the fact that Ayla and Jondalar have genitals of a complementary size, and are in fact, the only people with genitals of such a size.
Also, they like to watch horses do it. Hamilton, whose last few Anita Blake books have devolved into exactly this sort of porn. Hamilton isn't utilizing this trope, she typically just has some weird mystic happening affect all the characters so they wake up hours or days later having had insanely hot orgies that they don't even remember. This really saves her from having to find new words to describe obscenely large werewolf-genitalia which then get inserted into slot B.
Played for Laughs in Dave Barry In Cyberspace, with a "cybersex" session including the ridiculous line: The woman he's doing it with? And neither of them knew at first. It feels like when you break a tie vote in the Senate? Umm, listen, what I meant was This is you, isn't it, Al? The sex scenes in Greg Egan 's novels are so frighteningly banal and usually misjudged from the characters' perspective that he's clearly subverting the whole idea of the things.
Yes, people bump naughty bits together from time to time. They also urinate, get cramps, digest food, and flake off skin; there's no tradition of putting scenes specifically depicting those activities into novels.
The sex scenes in Tom Clancy 's Jack Ryan series are nowhere near as well written as the explanations of technical details of the hardware that puts the "techno" in "technothriller", with awkward word choices and phrasing taking any hint of eroticism out of the scenes.
Wherein the sex is drained of sex" that this is the likely result of a writer being uncomfortable with the scene; "The result will be something that reads like a medical brochure about erectile dysfunction.
What's more, it will read as more perverse than a straightforward 'They fucked all night', and in a disturbing Norman Bates-y way. An awesome scene early on in the Japanese creation myth Kojiki: Therefore I would like to take that place in my body which is formed to excess and insert it into that place in your body that is formed insufficiently and give birth to the land. How would this be? In the first scene, a call girl has sex with a client: In the second scene, a man is jumped by his very horny wife, and doesn't really get a chance to enjoy himself either.
The obsessively detailed style is repeated throughout the novel to create the feeling of being bombarded by information. Used in The Handmaid's Tale , in order to emphasise the fact that The Ceremony ritual sex involving a Handmaid , for Offred, is now nothing more than a duty.
She even refers to the act as "fucking", as no other word describes what is happening to her. This language, and much of the rest of the book, often leads to controversies over its use in high school literature classes.
One character actually thinks the words "Insert Tab A into Slot B" ironically; luckily we are spared the sex scene. The Subject Steve has this. And IKEA social interaction. And IKEA human life. All deliberate, mind you. The characters are often described as "making love" in a nonspecific manner, but when they actually decide to do it for real in order to conceive a baby - Jherek Carnelian, the central character they have some difficulty working out "what goes into where, and so on.
The Beige Prose does absolutely nothing to detract from the Squick. Fifty Shades of Grey: The words inner goddess and subconscious are used as metaphors for vagina and erection or enormous length for penis. This trope is also played to the hilt in a scene where period sex occurs.
Sweet mother of all Jeez. And then he's inside me. Every sex scene in American Psycho is written like this, with interminable prosaic descriptions of every position. It all goes to show Patrick Bateman's unique outlook on everything. Used deliberately in John Green 's Looking for Alaska when Pudge receives oral sex from Lara in order to demonstrate their lack of an emotional connection. Later, Dean Learner gets to rant about the standards of modern erotica writing, which ends up veering straight into Purple Prose.
I read modern writers, and it's "screw this", "he licked her", "she sucked that", "he bit the other", you know, "someone put it there", "he held it", I mean, where's the sensuality?
Where's "he glided in liquid smooth"? Where's "her wispy mound"? Night Court parodied this once. Mac was discussing assembling a train set, saying "Insert tab A into slot B.
Who can't do that? In one, the thing they're inventing is apparently the human body, and Webb is trying to convince Mitchell that where one kind has "a bit that goes out," the other should have "a bit that goes in. What, to help stacking? Yeah, it would help stacking. They'd really tessellate well. I'm not sure it would, actually.
I'm not sure it would go in that easily. I think you'd have to sort of work it in, because it's got no purchase, because it's floppy. No it wouldn't, because the thing that sticks out, that could change shape. It would go sort of rigid. What, when you need to stack them?
In That Mitchell and Webb Look, a man who writes porno movies states that he gets the basic outline, which is about a man and a woman meeting, with large blank spaces inbetween "they have sex" written several times over, with his job being to fill in the blanks. They kissed a second time. It was time for sex. She knew what he wanted, he knew what she wanted, so the sex was pretty good. Oliver then jokes that he wants to see English make a sex tape, speculating that he would provide narration that would be a hilarious example of this trope.
Tabletop Games FATAL has formulae for calculating the exact measurements of a character's primary and secondary sex characteristics. Thankfully this part is optional, but it's there. Well, theoretically optional, but given the rest of the manual's emphasis on the least arousing sex this side of a court-ordered chemical sterilization, you might as well just do it.
You're already a sex offender just for agreeing to play the game; just as well hang for a sheep as a lamb. And the parts about the act itself have even more numbers. No link because decidedly NSFW, but these rules are examined in detail on page 24 of the troper liveblog.
Video Games Considering the purposes for which they're purchased it's amazing just how bad the writing in most English translated hentai games is when it comes to sex scenes.
In most cases, the writers probably either: Have much more interest in writing a story than shoehorning in what the executives consider to be the selling point of these games. Game requires adult content to sell? Fine, here's a stupid sex scene, now let me get back to the interesting bit. In some of these games, you can cut the sex completely without missing anything in the plot, and probably make it better - these may get an all-ages console releases.
Know exactly how silly the games for which they're writing are, so why bother making it good? In fact, why not make the sex even dumber than it already is. They may even garner some cheap laughs from how bad it is. Got some ghostwriters involved somewhere in the process. You can tell from the clear difference in writing between the erotic scenes and the rest of the game.
Divi-Dead takes it to a whole other level with such gems as "shove your eggplant up to my ribcage! It can probably be explained mostly with poor translation job by people who had little to no actual experience, since those games were originally in Japanese.