Conversations like this had happened over the past couple months. I first met my boyfriend in a Spanish language class at our community college. He sat in the back row and was soft-spoken. In fact, I was oblivious to him until the day I heard him laugh. It was the sexiest, best laugh. I approached him and he was so damn shy.
Then, he joined a fraternity. My boyfriend studied computer science, ate chicken strips exclusively, and drank chocolate milk. Every sexual experience was mind-blowing to him due to his inexperience this was a confidence-builder for me -- bonus! I loved that nerdy, sweet guy. When did he become so self-conscious? I never perceived him as insecure, just introverted. He struggled with a need for acceptance into this frat-house brotherhood thing, and I feared our relationship would end.
I was insecure and vulnerable because I started to suspect his true personality differed from the man I loved. Look at the media coverage on campus assaults and hazing. Fraternity chapters are closed all the time for doing reprehensible crap. We both transferred to University.
He joined the fraternity, and I lived in upperclassmen housing with an exchange student from Japan. When he showed me a picture of his initiation, I was pissed. That made me prickle. I never asked him not to go because I trusted him. I expected drinking, and I drank too, but my boyfriend developed a beer gut in one semester. Sloppy drunk conversations took place every weekend, after which he puked in his room.
I visited his place once and saw a half-eaten, three-day-old steak on a paper plate under his bed. Cigarettes lay next to his computer keyboard.
We lived at different speeds. He took my arm and kissed me, but it felt different now. I wanted us back, but our relationship seemed hopeless. Also, what leadership skills are you referring to exactly? You act so different, and now I question what you do at those damn parties! That Friday night I agreed to stay at his place after he left dozens of texts and voice messages. In spite of our fights, I still loved him. He left to buy our favorite take-out food when one of his fraternity members knocked on his door.
I need the newest video! His friend described the video in explicit detail. He said he needed it now because he had a naked sorority chick in his bed. She was spread-eagle and willing to act out every scene they watched together in that video. He downloads the best stuff. Tell him I need it! So, my boyfriend used his computer skills to help his popularity in the fraternity house.
We broke up after that and not because of the porn thing. No, we broke up three weeks later because he had sex with the sorority chick who performed film reenactments. The environment provided a prime spot for him to do what he wanted to do. He was successful, so good for him. A few months later and I was OK with it too. My grades improved when I stopped worrying about his nonsense and I traveled abroad to study French.
After college he landed a leadership position in tech support and stayed in-touch with his fraternity brothers via Facebook.