You know, just a quick beej to help a bud out. What if you lived in the middle of nowhere and were no longer having any kind of sexual relationship with your wife? It might sound like the makings of a gay porn scene, but a recent study from Tony Silva , a researcher at the University of Oregon, suggests it happens in the real world, too. Silva found 19 white, straight-identifying men in rural, socially conservative regions of five Midwestern and Pacific Northwest states Missouri, Illinois, Oregon, Washington and Idaho through Craigslist M4M casual encounter ads.
They know how to work a chainsaw and clean a dead deer. At least two recent movies have dealt with straight-guy-on-straight-guy boning — The Overnight and The D Train. I have a year collection of Playboy magazines. If I wanted someone that acts girlish, I got a wife at home. I perceive that men who are feminine will want to hang out, have companionship and make it last two or three hours.
Sex with men is not cheating because part of marriage is sex, and my marriage has no sex. I drive a pickup and like guns. I lean a lot toward masculine. I go hunting every now and then, things that a quote-unquote manly man would do. While most expressed frustration about the difficulty of finding sexual partners in rural areas, they nonetheless mostly chose men who are masculine, white and straight or secretly bisexual, underscoring the importance of these characteristics for their normative masculinity and bud-sex.
I know that there are a lot of guys out there that are like me: Manly guys doing manly stuff and just happen to have oral sex with men every once in awhile. I have no problem taking care of myself with another guy. Seven explained that sex became uncomfortable or undesirable for their wives, and sex with men helped relieve sexual desires. I see being penetrated as a very masculine thing. No one knows how to please a man better than another man. These interpretations of penetration as unrelated to straightness or masculinity reaffirmed their own straightness and masculinity, regardless of what specifically they did.
I found this to be the saddest element of my study: They felt the need to keep their same-sex sexual encounters secret, and often felt great anxiety at the thought of discovery.
Regardless of how people identify, it would be ideal to live in a society where people could be open about their sexual encounters so long as they involved safe, healthy and pleasurable sex between consenting adults. Kinda like some guys drink too much. Similar sexual practices carry different meanings across contexts and populations. For gay and bisexual men, their sex with men reinforces their gay or bisexual identity.
For straight men, the ways in which they have sex with men — and how they interpret it — reinforce their straightness.