For women, there is a different expectation for losing your virginity than there is for men. Do they get nervous the same way girls do? We read through this Ask Reddit thread to get honest answers.
Don't just lay there and let him take over. He is probably feeling as clueless as you! You guys need to help each other out here. Don't rely on hints for him to get the idea that you're ready. No room at all for any chance of misinterpretation. He might be weirded out, though. There are no guarantees here.
As for the basics: Tab A, Slot B. If you think you might be pretty dry, lube helps. For me, it was a matter of "I wonder if she'll like this How about thi-- Nope. That will cut down the awkward fumbling to only a minor inconvenience. Grab the offending body part and show him how.
Use a condom though. No need for the next 18 years of your life to be a huge sacrifice if you don't want it to be. I'll tell you the same thing I was told about taking a woman's virginity. It will not be your "night to howl. There is so much pressure to perform as a male. I know women have things that men can't relate to but this is one we really have to bear alone: And it's damn difficult the first time.
Your body is all "OHO! Opportunity to impregnate a female! Fire the missiles now! Be sure to take him a few times though the night and assure him that he's pleasing and satiating you. That is what he wants to hear. And it doesn't matter if you're lying.
Because if you can just convince him and get him past the initial experience, he has a better chance of becoming that sex partner you truly want. This is nice for both guys and girls to do. If he's nervous he may not be able to get it up in which case it becomes important that you treat this as NBD.
Otherwise, clear communication - what works for you, what seems to be working for him - should see you through just fine. One thing I would caution is that young, inexperienced dudes tend to feel a lot of pressure to perform, and this sometimes leads their partners to try to counter with levity.
It takes a mature, confident dude to laugh stuff off in bed so this can backfire. This is really common. Please don't take it personally, and try not to comment on it if it happens. Not being able to get it up is something most guys are VERY insecure about. It's not okay to make him feel bad. Just try to help him along without getting upset or frustrated. I think the most important thing is to overall let him feel your desire for him, not in a wild way but in a more 'thank you, you're making love to me!
Besides all your techniques, experience and tricks, we feel a woman's amount of desire. It's just that often our own desire overshadows a woman's lesser desire or even her worry about pain, low confidence, boundaries etc. That's why we often 'endure' women who are less enthusiastic.
But the biggest aphrodisiac to many of us is obvious, visible and audible desire, it's a felt sense. If you're not in the mood, that is totally fine. I'm not saying you should fake it, or put on a serious acting job. But if you're turned on, show it. If you want him, show it.
Help him put his penis in. This sounds stupid and funny but a lot of guys actually have troubling finding the actual hole of the vagina their first few times. You don't realize how much extra space and skin there is until you are trying to put your dick in and it is pitch black and you are nervous as hell.
You may be nervous about it going in, and so is he! Help each other out and take things slow. If he's still a virgin then you just became the magic girl he'll remember for years to come. Communicate and don't focus on his virginity, talk about it openly and explore that night. Have him go down on you and you down on him. Let him know that you refuse to have a bad night and turn it into a fun exploration where he learns the ropes and you get to enjoy the learning curve.
Saying that, he will have an idea of what to do. He'll get some of it right and its up to you as the experienced partner to teach and communicate. Have fun and use protection! If he is uncircumcised, his foreskin will need to pull back from his head. Nobody tells you this, and you end up struggling to put a condom on while keeping the skin in place. It should just pull back naturally as the condom goes on, so don't stress, but the chances are that he won't even know about this and will try to keep the skin in place as well.
If you aren't using a condom, the skin will pull back automatically by itself. I will tell you from experience, this is terrifying if you don't realise that it is supposed to do that. So just let him know that it's all under control and not to worry about it. This is all only if he is UNcircumcised though. Thing is that before you have sex for the first time you are full of self doubt. As a teenager I can remember worrying about everything related to sex. What if she thinks my dick is small?
What if it smells bad? What if I don't last long enough? What if I can't get an erection? All that and more. Joking around and teasing friends about that stuff doesn't help obviously, but it's part of male culture You talk about it all the time. Once you gain some experience with sex, you realize how silly all of that is.
None of it matters. Girls aren't the only ones who get insecure! It's important to remember that. He'll blow his load in like 10 pumps maximum so go in with low expectations. Should be better the 2nd time. Be patient with him if he has issues getting it up.
Don't bring attention to it, just go down on him until he's relaxed enough. This isn't true for every single dude, but it is pretty common. This is something guys get nervous about, so just don't make him feel any more insecure than he already is.
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