So get in touch. For more DIY sex toys, go here 5 Home made sex toys for men: Ever wonder why chimps like bananas so much? If a goddamn dirty ape can make a home made sex toy, you sure as hell can. How to jerk of with a banana: Take a banana note: Wrap the skin around your penis, or insert it into the cut off end and proceed to masturbate.
The thick banana skin gives a completely different sensation to hand on penis contact. And you also have a handy recepticle to leave your load in. Put the skin in the microwave for a few seconds before you have at it, to warm it up. Check how hot it is before you jam your dick in there though. You and I both know that couch certainly wants it. For this you will need: Take your scissors and cut the sealing strip of your Ziploc bag.
If you have a plastic bag without one, obviously skip this step. Take your lubricant and squirt a generous helping into the plastic bag, making sure that you coat the inside of the bag well. Take the plastic bag and place it underneath a couch cushion between the cushion and the base. Put your penis inside the bag, and start plowing. Push your hands down on the couch cushion to provide more pressure on your penis. Masturbating this way more closely simulates actual sex, as you are moving your hips rather than your hands.
If anyone happens to walk in and catch you taking that couch to pound town, just tell them you were looking for loose change under the cushions…. You thought cups were just for drinking out of? A cup — large enough and long enough to accommodate your member. Two sponges — that will fill half of the inside of the cup each.
Something like kitchen sponges should do. Take your two sponges and wet them with warm water. Place the sponges inside your cup. Each sponge should cover half of the inside of the cup so that they form a slit in the middle. Squirt a generous amount of lubricant into the cup, in the gap between the sponges. Place your penis inside the cup. The fit should be relatively snug to provide adequate stimulation.
Proceed to masturbate with your new home made vagina. Be sure to use enough lube though. But if your sexual partner is a melon, why not? Melon is one of the most popular home made sex toys for men. Failing those options, a large cucumber, squash or watermelon will do. Take your melon and cut a hole in one side, just large enough to fit the circumference of your erection.
On the opposite side of the melon, make a small pencil sized hole. Hollow some of the melon out in order to be able to fit your penis inside.
Insert your penis into the melon and either thrust your hips back and forth, simulating sex, or pump the melon up and down your penis like your getting a blowjob. Try covering the small hole on the opposite side to increase suction when you are pulling your penis out, and uncovering the hole when you push it in. This gives the feeling of someone sucking your penis. A toilet roll could certainly be your big score. The size of the standard cardboard sleeve in a toilet roll is unusually well suited for the average sized male penis to be inserted into.
Depending on your endowment though, you might try using the classic toilet roll, paper towel, tissue or wrapping paper rolls. If you are especially well endowed like Tugger, you might need one of those 4 foot tubes for sending posters from the post shop. Fill the condom or glove with lube and place your penis inside.
You can simply masturbate with the tube in your hand, or pop it under your couch cushion, or mattress as described in Method 2 above. So there you have it, 5 places to stick your penis other than your hand.
There are plenty of items around the house you CAN use to masturbate with.