Shares 22 By Evan Field Yes, I am going to discuss the most taboo, most frowned upon, most popular activity that most husbands engage in while free and alone.
I am going to discuss the reasons why we married men engage with porn. The content is honest and real. Ladies … while you are reading this, step outside your comfort zone, put your views aside, and understand that this IS reality. All of the information below is based on hundreds of conversations I have had with many married men I have known over the years. I am forthright and blunt. You are about to read some real truth. Porn addiction and unhealthy sexual lifestyles are not going to be discussed.
Sexual engagement could be as tame as listening to a woman say flirtatious things while looking at me squarely in the eyes. It can be as hardcore as a simulated point of view POV doggy-style fucking on the kitchen floor with a woman who resembles my college crush.
The woman in the movie clip has a different voice than you, a different body than you, a different hairstyle, walk, nipple size, skin tone, age, name … anything that would slightly or gravely differentiate from you.
While society and religion preach monogomy, human nature yearns for variation. I have had many tastes in women. My nostalgic feelings of bliss with the intern have come back to me at the speed of a mouse click. More porn involves watching all parties involved in the film. Does that guy have a bigger package than I do — is he more muscular? Everyone has a secret taboo that turns them on. My wife might describe what I usually watch as a slight fetish when I consider it mainstream … fetish definition is personal.
He has also completely and carefully erased the history of his hunt for what scratched his itch. Anyone who gets off on an X-Rated version of alien Japanimation or X-rated clips of women kicking a man in the nuts is bound to first understand the art of deleting and covering his tracks.
Sometimes men get weird. Fetish Porn allows people to explore what they would probably never do in real life. Be thankful that we have the outlet. Biologically-speaking, men NEED to release semen. Our bodies tell us that we need to be erect to release it. Any one of those women is a mental substitute for you. Wives who grudgingly withhold sex from their husbands or deny them on a regular basis are at risk of losing their husbands possibly permanently to the surrogate sexual partner of porn.
Men will find a surrogate to appease their biological need. Husbands who have little control over home decisions most of us , do have control over who or how they choose to have fantasy sex with porn. So when your husband is watching porn while he is alone, his choices and sense of uninhibited privacy are HIS control. It is much more prevalent for you to be and act truly angry at your husband than it is for your husband to act angry with you.
In fact, it is absolutely acceptable in our culture for a wife to raise her voice in her fit of annoyance toward her husband. Men are also creatures of the brain. My best friend loves blondes with great muscular legs. He married one in fact. Lately, he fantasizes about the Hispanic brunette in his office because she was drunkenly forward with him at a party and told him with great eye contact how truly hot she thinks he is.
His porn category of choice lately? When women act sexual or talk about what they want in bed it is the BEST aphrodisiac for men. When your husband does not receive wanting eyes, positive physical touching, or flirtation … they feel unwanted.
Porn simulates what is missing. Is it our mutual responsibility to be romantic, sexually energetic, flirtatious, and exciting? But men are from Mars. Chances are that you did not marry the guy who has the best approach to unlock or decipher your sexual side when he wants it the most.
All of the husbands I spoke with had the same common theme: In the last two weeks I asked 20 married men what would turn them on to their wives to temporarily forgo porn. Several things were common: I thought about this, and it occurred to me that the porn I watch fills several voids in my own mental sex life.
If my wife comes up to me, throws her arms around my neck, we make out, she tells me that she has been thinking about how great it would be to ride me on the couch while the kids are asleep, bites her bottom lip, and gives me great eye contact … I am NOT running to the laptop — she just did a damn good job! I experienced this last week after I sent my wife a video clip of a woman seducing a guy by kissing him first, followed by the hardcore scene. I reminded her that I am turned on by the proactive foreplay by a woman.
Was it risky to send her this? Yes, I thought I was going to get yelled at for sure. The video clip actually entertained her and she understood why I sent it … what has been missing lately. How do you think it would make YOUR husband feel? Like he is not a piece of shit? Like he is attractive? Ask yourself, what is the downside of making a husband feel like that?
All it takes is effort and courage to act young again with the guy you said YES to. It makes the act humiliating. Turning it into a positive understanding will be attractive to him. You might find out that the answer might be enjoyable to engage in or act out. Ask him to email you a video clip that he loves.
Email him a video clip of an acted-out fantasy of yours! Bringing it all out of the hiding would most likely add or create excitement in your marriage. Your approach means everything. Your husband is human. If he is good to you, be good to him. Okay, Ladies … have at it! We definitely want to hear YOUR perspective on this one ….