I never learned how to ask a girl out, even though several of them asked me out, and it led to some very shallow relationships. In university, I was in clubs that kept me very busy and had little time for a social life. I got into World of Warcraft for a year, picked up drawing as a hobby … and then suddenly I was 27 and worked in an office where every girl is at least 40 and usually divorced with kids, and I honestly had no idea how to ask a girl out or even realize if she was interested in me.
Fast forward five years. I have a relatively successful career, work hour days and … well, nothing has changed. I thought about helping nature a bit by paying for it. But the one time I ended up in a bar of ill-repute, I was disgusted. I am honestly not worried about not having had sex. I have a girlfriend, and she is the same way.
Mostly because I was fat. So I was still scared that men would find me unattractive. Neither applies to me. Originally, it was due to religious reasons. As time went on, though, I never found a man I felt comfortable enough to lose my virginity to, one that I felt connected to and trusted.
The closest I came was sort-of casual dating with a coworker that ended a couple weeks ago — we kissed once, but that was it. Honestly, I was never very social when I was young. Some rebelled against it, but I remained a good boy hate myself for it now. As to the why, well, lots of reasons.
Then for years, it was lack of opportunity. All it takes is rejection at a critical time, and your self-esteem is nuked. I decided I needed to do something about that, so I did. I met a guy through online dating, and we had sex. Apparently enthusiasm does go a long way, and all that theoretical knowledge can be put to good use. We had sex a week before I turned I just have trouble enough making lasting friendships, let alone getting to sex.
I wish there was a way I could just get this over with. I was never able to form any lasting friendships. My family moved a lot where I was young, and I found a way to get bullied at every school I went to. It was so bad that some girls pretended to want to begin a relationship with me so as to get me to let my guard down. Next thing I knew, they were telling everyone about the latest awkward thing I attempted, and I would never hear the end of it.
Nowadays, I have huge trust issues. I do nothing but play video games outside of work, and every other hobby bores me to tears. Doing so much as vacuuming my home has me needing to sit down and recover for a while. I never learned how to talk to girls. I grew up with my entire social behavior scrutinized and used against me. I want to have sex with someone I am attracted to.
The fact is, though, that constant rejection and lack of human contact can really take its toll on someone, especially when it goes on for years and years at a time.
You just need to have a friendship and let it blossom from there! I would LOVE to have friends. I have no idea. I make girls laugh and generally have interesting conversations, but for some reason, I can never escalate it to sex. I think part of it is that everyone around me is in these horrible relationships. My parents have a terrible marriage. I know people who are just beaten down by their wives. So I think I got real picky maybe too picky of the girls who I am interested in.
Maybe seeing that messed me up. I just feel like sex would mean a whole lot more if I only had it with one person in my entire life. I wonder if it would be good to finally fit that piece of the puzzle. I was home-schooled all through middle school and then put into public high school at the end of ninth grade because my parents wanted me to experience the social part of high school.
It was a complete disaster. Everyone hated me; I never made any friends. So while most people have had relationships and experience during high school, I was a complete outcast and never got anywhere with anyone. There were people who thought I was gay. I ended up dropping out. During my twenties, life was quite hard. We moved around a lot, I never made any real friends, and I never got to know any woman long enough to develop a relationship.
I decided to go to college and get a degree to better my life. There was one girl there I was interested in, but she was with someone else, so that never worked out. I finished college, got my degree and went to work. Eventually, they hired a woman I was interested in, and after talking to her, I finally managed the courage to ask her out.
Sigh … So now we come to last year. But without going into detail, she turned out to be a bit crazy, and even though she ended up rejecting me before the relationship really started, I believe now I actually dodged a bullet. So here I am, a year-old, trying to find someone. Because I have come to the conclusion that I hate being alone.
I want someone in my life! It has nothing to do with religious purposes or anything wrong with my little guy down there. Being a virgin is to sex what being an atheist is to religion. At my work, a lot of my female coworkers liked to flirt and joke with me a lot, some even joking about hooking up.
Nonetheless, I get a lot of attention from the girls. We just had coffee. I kept trying to dodge and weave, but it just made her more persistent on asking me. She thought I was kidding. When she realized what I am, she suddenly went from being attracted to being disgusted.
Coffee ended shortly, and she stopped talking to me since then. Soon, all the girls stopped talking to me. I went from being this guy who got a lot of attention to being a nobody, like I was dead. They treated me like I was this gross human.