Ed Stone Dating Tips Should you have sex on a second date? Is it better than on first date or third date? These are just some of the questions guys and girls have swirling around in their head when it comes to dating. Below, I answer a few of the most common questions when it comes to sex on a second date. Why have sex on a second date? Most men will wait until the woman gives them a clear signal to make a move before initiating sex. As a guy, the old cliche can be true — we look for sex and fall in love, whereas women look for romance and end up having sex.
These two opposing views meet in the middle the first time you have sex. And if you leave it too long before you initiate sex, the woman may start to think you are only interested in them platonically. When I took women on multiple dates, their attraction slowly faded, until they would either disappear when a new more aggressive man came along, or they would be confused as to why I kept asking them out but never making a move. This too led to them becoming frustrated and moving on. Having sex on a second date meets your desire as a man to have sex with beautiful women, whilst also demonstrating you are a sexual guy who lives behind the curtain and understands what women want.
I would also point out that this is not the only strategy. You could wait ten dates and have amazing sex at the end of it. But if you are a normal man or woman who enjoys sex with someone they have built a connection with after two dates, this FAQ is for you.
Also, this is not about tricking a woman into bed on the second date and then leaving them. Yes, this may happen. She may not be into you, or you not into her after it, which is totally fine.
Be kind and gentle to everyone, please. Why not have sex on a first date? There is nothing terribly wrong with having sex on a first date. I do it on occasion when I detect the women is very in to me and wants to be taken home. However, there are some benefits of waiting until the second date. It increases the chances of longer term relationships. I mean dating her casually over several months is more likely to happen, with the option to make her your girlfriend if you want to.
It decreases her feelings of shame and guilt. That weekend I invited her to join me for a coffee. We chatted for an hour and I invited her back to my flat for wine. We sat on the sofa and I kissed her within 30 minutes. From there I escalated physically by running my hands over her legs and breasts. She told me she had to meet a friend, and after watching a bit of TV she left, kissing me goodbye. I text her a few days later to meet up again, but she was always busy, and her enthusiasm had disappeared.
In this situation I move TOO quickly, and it make her feel uncomfortable. Until such time as society accepts that sex is natural and women should be able to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want, you need to be mindful of triggering negative feelings.
How do I have sex on a second date? I understand I need to move quickly, but HOW?? It is not congruent with the personality you presented to her.
Instead, you need to act like a man who is comfortable with his desires, and can be sexual from the very first date. As a result, wanting and going for sex on the second date feels natural. Do women want sex on a second date? First, the real question is do YOU want it. Because you should go for what you want in life. Secondly, yes, women desire and love sex, but they will only sleep with a guy who is very attractive to them, and this includes feeling comfortable.
There is much social pressure heaped on women to make them believe sex is wrong, and having sex with a guy on a second date is taboo. In reality, everyone should make up their own mind as to what is right for them. And if they feel comfortable having sex on a second date, they should be allowed to do so with no-judgement. You become attractive by displaying traits such as confidence, outcome independence, a sense of style, social intelligence, a purpose in life, taking care of your physical appearance, kindness, caring and interest in her.
These are what women are biologically programmed to find attractive, much more so than the physical characteristics of wanting someone tall, dark and handsome they often describe when asked.
If you FAIL to exhibit these traits, women will friend zone you. And if you display too many Provider qualities such as indicating to them how good your job is, how much money you make, how you just bought your own house, etc. What about the three date rule? Having sex on a first date does not make you any less of a person than having sex on a third date. In fact, as a women, if you are strong enough to form your own opinions and make your own mind up based on what you want to do, without bowing to external pressures, I see you as far more decent a person than most.
Being a True Alpha helps short circuit this three date logic somewhat. I once invited an Irish girl with a strong Catholic upbringing to my house for a second date. She understood the subtext, that this meant sex was likely to happen, and so arranged to meet me for a drink a few days before the scheduled second date.
We had one drink, chatted for about an hour, and both went our separate ways. The ONLY reason is because she had the three date rule in her head. A couple of days later I invited her back over and her knickers dropped without any hesitation. Does sex on a second date make me a bad person?
You need to accept your desires as a man to sleep with women. Learn how to deal with your nice guy mentality. Do you really feel that way, or are you repressing your desires because of a fear of being judged, or feeling ashamed or guilty for wanting sex?
Even if you want to end up in an exclusive relationship with a girl, I still advocate having sex with her as soon as possible. Sleeping with her quickly will avoid this.