The entire hostel was buzzing with everyone asking each other if they were going to go to the live sex show or not. Let me explain, as I said before the Cocomama was awesome.
Every other night they would have some sort of activity that included the entire hostel. The day I checked in the activity of the night was the shot cruise, the next morning was some sort of wake and bake which consisted of delicious pancakes and what have you. It just so happened that this night was live sex show night. But you got to think of it this way. Before all this, before meeting all the guys and what have you, I was going to do this all on my own.
So being able to go with the hot owners of the Cocomama plus my buds, it was a no brainer. The ticket also came with 2 drinks of your choice, and being somewhat nervous going to this live sex show I was going to need as much alcohol I could get my hands on. We all meet up in the common room downstairs. The girls were handing us shots to get us a bit more comfortable.
I ask one of the girls if it is a good idea to bring my GoPro. She tells me it is probably a really really bad idea. That if they have any inclination that I took any sort of photo or video, they would either smash my camera or throw it in the dam.
That night I found out that my case was in fact not indestructible, but I digress. At this point we are all downing shots and clearing out the honesty bar for all its worth. He tells us that they got him on stage with his trousers down and had a candle in his ass as he walked circles around for the audience.
We all head out, a few of the guys and I grab one more beer for the road just for good measures. I ask one of the girls if drinking is allowed in public in Amsterdam, it is not. We take the tram to the district and before I know it we are in front of the notorious red lights. Anika turns around and gives us the basic ground rules of the district. So we begin to walk and things get very interesting.
Let me explain to you in great detail what the live sex show had from start to finish. So as we arrived at The Theater Casa Rosso, there was a gigantic line literally wrapping itself around the corner. Lucky for us, since we bought our tickets from Anika we were able to skip the entire line. There was a main floor and one level above that contained a bar. The place was already pretty much packed so we randomly filled in the seats that were left open in the back. I was in the 2nd to last row all the way to the right next to the runway.
I took a quick scan of the audience to see who else would be curious enough to check out a live sex show. The place was packed with Chinese and Indian people, old Chinese and Indian people. They are mostly dudes, but there are some women in the audience, like old women.
I sat down and the waiter took my order, Jack and Coke, lots of Jack please. I look up and there is already a performer on stage. She crawls onto the bed and begins to strike various poses to the audience.
She then begins to lay on the bed with her head pointing towards us as she arks her back to the ceiling. She takes the lit cigarette she has in her hands and puts it in her vagina.
She places her hands on the lower portion of her back and hoists her legs into the air. This chick just smoked a cigarette with her vagina. Then, she begins to stike poses with her legs, making figure fours and other various poses, all while continuing to smoke with her vagina.
The cigarette is getting dangerously low. She contracts one more time, this time much deeper than previously before. The dj from above asks for a round of applause.
She curtseys and the curtain closes, what the fuck did I just watch? Not by a long shot. The Euro Couple I look back at my friends, the facial expression on all of them is very diverse, but all hilarious. My Jack and Coke arrives, I down it. If that was the first act I know that there is way more heading our way. The curtain opens, there is a man holding a woman upside down in a 69 position. The man and woman are matching in this electric pink costume, similar to something Randy Savage would be wearing if he was a prostitute.
There is a generic techno song playing in the background, what the fuck have I gotten myself into. As he slapped her ass he was able to get a hold of her thong which he is now stretching to his right. He lies her on the circular bed and begins to awkwardly caress and kiss her neck. He violently throws her panties to the side and begins to eat her out…to the beat. Her leg is sticking up into the air and he proceeds to do his best Gene Simmons impersonation.
The beat is beginning to rise again. The beat is different now, it sounds slowed, almost to allow her to keep up with the temp without breaking her neck. The beat is beginning to increase again. Then the beat abruptly changes, the bed begins to fucking rotate. It slowly turns from one corner of the room to the other until it makes a full rotation. Each rotation is in sync with the song. Every turn of the bed he would flip her over and begin fucking her to different sexual positions.
This goes on for a good amount of time, then it just stops. The bed stops, the dj announces their names and asks for another round of applause, the curtain closes and they bow.
This particular exhibition is finished. There is no spectacular ending where fireworks shoot off as he unloads onto her face and chest, it just ends. The Dominatrix I take a look back to see how my friends are doing. Their reactions are priceless. Some have their hands over the bridge of their forehead as they sit back in shock. Others are laughing hysterically and I think one is actually sobbing.
I am so glad I went with these guys, going to something like this alone could probably really fuck you up. I settle back into my seat and the curtains open. There is a blonde woman on stage by herself. She is wearing all black leather lingerie with matching boots and hat. She starts walking along the stage…and then down the side of the stairs. All I can think about is how that dude from Whales was telling us about his friend and a candle in his ass.
I look at the second step away from me, if she makes her way to that step I have already decided that I will fucking book it. She has made it halfway up the isle and the spot light is shifting throughout the audience.
No one is moving in that section, not a soul. She looks to the guy to her left, she stares at him for a few minutes. She raises her stick whip…and chooses the man to her right. Everyone begins to roar and shriek, his buddies are going fucking nuts. He finally musters up the courage to stand up and we all begin to applaud.
He slowly walks up the stairs. Glasses, khakis, dress shirt, and receding hairline. This guys looks like your average Joe. She makes him stand in the center of the stage, she goes into the back and returns with a few items. She then takes a dog leash and wraps it tightly around his neck. Then she takes a dogbone and places it inside his mouth.
She whips the lower end of his leg and gets him to get on all fours. She begins to walk him around the stage. She brings him to the right side of the stage and makes him stand up. She orders him to hold onto the pole and begins to whip him repeatedly. She brings him over to the center of the stage and lifts his blindfold off of his head. She goes to the back and returns with something in her hands, some sort of strap.
This guy now has this gigantic black dildo protruding from his forehead. She begins to whip the back of his legs again as he awkwardly tries to dodge the hits. He finally decides to lie down and she hovers above his head with her ass checks flapping in the wind. She begins to squat down, but she hesitates. She steps to the side and orders him to get on all fours again.