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Lonely and needs free sex

Lonely and needs free sex

Does such a feeling overwhelm you at times? If you've had such feelings of loneliness , you are far from alone. Loneliness is one of the most common, if unpleasant emotions that millions of people experience. For some, it may be a passing emotion. But for all of us, it is part of being human. Loneliness can lead to excessive drinking or binge eating , to suppress those unpleasant feelings.

But having a strategy to deal with loneliness can be an important safeguard against depression, substance abuse , or even making bad choices for partners.

So you are not alone in feeling lonely. Perhaps the recent breakdown of connectedness can be related to the decline of family connections, higher divorce rates, people moving more frequently, the decline of church attendance, or declining participation in organizations like the PTA and labor unions. Relate loneliness to your values of connection. We evolved to live in smaller communities with daily face-to-face contact — and shared child-rearing. That has changed for most people, but loneliness may remind you of the fact that you value connecting with other people, and that this value is an important part of being human.

It might be evenings, weekends, or holidays. Have a plan in advance for these times. On weekends you might make plans with friends or family, you might go to museums, concerts, bike rides, guided walks, church or synagogue events, or connect with people on Meetup. I like thinking of turning yourself into a tourist for a day or a night. Or if your worrisome time is at night, have a plan for a couple of nights each week when you might connect with someone; it could simply be on Skype.

A friend of mine, who is incredibly resilient , took up the guitar and swimming — separately — at the age of He experiences great enthusiasm with these activities. And even if they did think that, why should you care? Maybe doing things alone means you are independent, empowered, and free. In fact, doing something by yourself might actually be a good way to meet new people.

Imagine that you are at a museum or bookstore, and you start talking to someone next to you about a painting or a book. Or imagine that you are taking a cooking or yoga class and start talking to people. Identify your loneliness thoughts. Write down some of the thoughts that you have when you are lonely.

These might include thoughts like those above, or the following: I will always be alone. If I am alone, I have to feel lonely and unhappy. I must be a loser, because I am alone. If you have these or other negative thoughts, then you are like millions of other people who feel stopped in their tracks by loneliness.

But you can try some of these rational and helpful responses: You are only alone for these moments minutes, hours , and you will be interacting with other people soon — at work, waiting in line, talking to a friend, or participating in an activity. You are not on a deserted island. You can look at it as an opportunity to do some things that you like. You might enjoy having the peace to read something you like, listen to your own music, cook your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, or visit a museum at your own pace.

The idea that you are a "loser" because you are alone makes no sense: Everyone is alone at some time. Being alone is a situation — and situations change. If you relate to loneliness with protest, anger , desperation, or defeat, then it will be unpleasant. It might be more helpful to relate to it with the idea that feeling lonely or being alone comes and goes and that it is something we all cope with.

Accepting what is might be better than catastrophizing something we all experience. Direct compassion and tenderness toward yourself. Rather than thinking that you need to rely on others for love, acceptance, and compassion, you might direct these thoughts and feelings toward yourself. Taking care of yourself and soothing yourself is a wonderful antidote for loneliness.

Build a community of connectedness. We all need some connection with other people — or even animals. So many people — friends, family, patients — have told me how much love and connection they experience with their pets.

So consider getting a cat or a dog. Or go to your local animal shelter and offer to volunteer. Another way of connecting is to do volunteer work, because we all need to be needed.

You can search online in your community for volunteer organizations that correspond to your interests. I doubt that you will feel lonely when you are showing kindness toward someone.

And make plans to see people. This includes using social media. Or join organizations where people share your interests — political, cultural, religious , or social. All emotions pass, depending on what you're thinking and what you're doing.

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The Need to be Alone



Lonely and needs free sex

Does such a feeling overwhelm you at times? If you've had such feelings of loneliness , you are far from alone. Loneliness is one of the most common, if unpleasant emotions that millions of people experience. For some, it may be a passing emotion. But for all of us, it is part of being human. Loneliness can lead to excessive drinking or binge eating , to suppress those unpleasant feelings. But having a strategy to deal with loneliness can be an important safeguard against depression, substance abuse , or even making bad choices for partners.

So you are not alone in feeling lonely. Perhaps the recent breakdown of connectedness can be related to the decline of family connections, higher divorce rates, people moving more frequently, the decline of church attendance, or declining participation in organizations like the PTA and labor unions. Relate loneliness to your values of connection. We evolved to live in smaller communities with daily face-to-face contact — and shared child-rearing.

That has changed for most people, but loneliness may remind you of the fact that you value connecting with other people, and that this value is an important part of being human.

It might be evenings, weekends, or holidays. Have a plan in advance for these times. On weekends you might make plans with friends or family, you might go to museums, concerts, bike rides, guided walks, church or synagogue events, or connect with people on Meetup.

I like thinking of turning yourself into a tourist for a day or a night. Or if your worrisome time is at night, have a plan for a couple of nights each week when you might connect with someone; it could simply be on Skype. A friend of mine, who is incredibly resilient , took up the guitar and swimming — separately — at the age of He experiences great enthusiasm with these activities. And even if they did think that, why should you care?

Maybe doing things alone means you are independent, empowered, and free. In fact, doing something by yourself might actually be a good way to meet new people. Imagine that you are at a museum or bookstore, and you start talking to someone next to you about a painting or a book. Or imagine that you are taking a cooking or yoga class and start talking to people. Identify your loneliness thoughts.

Write down some of the thoughts that you have when you are lonely. These might include thoughts like those above, or the following: I will always be alone. If I am alone, I have to feel lonely and unhappy. I must be a loser, because I am alone. If you have these or other negative thoughts, then you are like millions of other people who feel stopped in their tracks by loneliness. But you can try some of these rational and helpful responses: You are only alone for these moments minutes, hours , and you will be interacting with other people soon — at work, waiting in line, talking to a friend, or participating in an activity.

You are not on a deserted island. You can look at it as an opportunity to do some things that you like. You might enjoy having the peace to read something you like, listen to your own music, cook your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, or visit a museum at your own pace. The idea that you are a "loser" because you are alone makes no sense: Everyone is alone at some time. Being alone is a situation — and situations change. If you relate to loneliness with protest, anger , desperation, or defeat, then it will be unpleasant.

It might be more helpful to relate to it with the idea that feeling lonely or being alone comes and goes and that it is something we all cope with. Accepting what is might be better than catastrophizing something we all experience. Direct compassion and tenderness toward yourself. Rather than thinking that you need to rely on others for love, acceptance, and compassion, you might direct these thoughts and feelings toward yourself.

Taking care of yourself and soothing yourself is a wonderful antidote for loneliness. Build a community of connectedness. We all need some connection with other people — or even animals. So many people — friends, family, patients — have told me how much love and connection they experience with their pets. So consider getting a cat or a dog. Or go to your local animal shelter and offer to volunteer. Another way of connecting is to do volunteer work, because we all need to be needed. You can search online in your community for volunteer organizations that correspond to your interests.

I doubt that you will feel lonely when you are showing kindness toward someone. And make plans to see people. This includes using social media. Or join organizations where people share your interests — political, cultural, religious , or social.

All emotions pass, depending on what you're thinking and what you're doing.

Lonely and needs free sex

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3 Comments

  1. But you can try some of these rational and helpful responses: I'm just wanting to savor a new flavor while I'm. Personality wise I'm quiet a little shy but adventurous and I like to travel.

  2. Loneliness is not necessarily about poor social skills. There is no one idea or one path to move from loneliness to contentment, but there are general ideas that seem to work.

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