Are We In Love? The Physical Facts Since the beginning of time every living thing has been genetically programmed to procreate in order to continue the species. In the animal kingdom, having sex is the method by which offspring are created and born, thus maintaining each species. This genetic programming includes the highest of the species You may have heard people refer to the "raging hormones of teens.
The end result of all this is that the male of any animal species is programmed to go out and impregnate a female, and that applies to humans as well. At the same time, girls are programmed to be receptive of a mate in order to get pregnant and continue the species. The continuation of the human race, however, is also affected by the intellectual responsibilities of mankind, community morals, religious beliefs, and other factors.
Consequently, instead of simply following their animal instincts, humans are separated from the animal kingdom by their high intellect; and they must use this intellect to restrain themselves and take responsibility for their actions rather than just going out and procreating all over the place. Now this is especially tough on the guys, as that male sex drive is strongest between the ages of 17 and Girls, on the other hand, have the strongest sex drive during monthly ovulation, that time of the month when you WILL get pregnant if you have sex.
This makes logical sense when viewed from the context of evolution. Ovulation is the most fertile phase for women, and increased interest in and responsiveness to sex during this time ensures greater probability of conception and procreation than at other times of your monthly cycle.
This increase in sex drive has been attributed to increases in estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, and generally kicks in anywhere from a few days before ovulation until ovulation is over.
So if you don't want to get pregnant, beware of this heightened desire. In spite of all this genetic programming, it is not an excuse to allow your animal instincts to overpower your intellect to the detriment of your life and future plans.
How Girls Feel You feel wonderful, giddy, happy, cheerful, ecstatic, romantic, on cloud nine! He's so cute, adorable, you're obsessed, you think about him all the time, you melt at his feet, he's perfect! It must be love, right? If you read The Physical Facts above, you know by now that all those hormones kicking in are meant to make you have these feelings when an appealing potential mate turns up.
It's all part of that genetic drive to propagate the species. This is not real love; it's pure physical attraction propelled by increased hormonal activity. It's also the very time when many girls lose their virginity. This is when it's important for your brain to kick in and evaluate the whole situation. Girls are very, very vulnerable to these physical attractions in their early teens, as they are also thinking about romance and how good that all feels. That's why they get pulled in by guys who will tell them anything, like "I love you," to get them to have sex; and that's why so many girls get pregnant under these circumstances, only to have the guy up and leave.
Natasha I was 13 years old and I thought I was in love with the guy. I was still a virgin at the time, and he knew that.
So one day he said if I really loved him I would give it up to him. At the time I thought it was right because I thought I was in love with him. Three days after we did it, he told me he had another girlfriend and he just wanted to have sex with me. Felicia I was 14 when I lost my virginity. I thought I was in love with the guy I lost my virginity to. He told me he was in love with me and wouldn't leave me for any reason.
So I let him talk me into having sex. We broke up a month after it happened. Kim I lost my virginity when I was It was to a boy I loved, and I thought he loved me. As soon as "it happened" it was a total flip. He was a total jerk. Two weeks later we broke up. Guys are inclined to have one-night stands, and girls tend to connect love and sex. Girls connect sex with romance and intimacy, and guys focus on body parts and functioning. Did you know that eight out of ten first time teen sexual relationships last only a few weeks or months, and one-quarter of them are one-time experiences?
And did you know that 85 teenage girls get pregnant each hour? Now here's one more thing to think about. Do you know what statutory rape is?
Statutory rape is sex with a person who has not reached the age of consent, even if both people participate willingly. All 50 states have very different laws concerning the age of consent. In most states it is 16 years old, but in some states it is 17 or Consequently, if you are under the age of consent, the "love of your life" could be charged with statutory rape.
Now think of this Do you know any happily married couple who fell in love at 13? Having several different boyfriends over a period of years gives you the experience of learning what you really want in a husband. All boyfriends start out "perfect" in the beginning, but after getting to know them better, you often find things about them that you really don't like. That's why boyfriends come and go before you pick your husband.
So, consider this time period as a training ground, and don't let your hormones rule your actions. They are programmed for only one thing You, however, are programmed for many, many other things and need to understand that your physical needs have to be controlled so you can also pursue your emotional and intellectual wants. The key to success during this time is to learn self control both girls and guys. Girls, however, learn faster, as they're the ones who get pregnant and have to deal with the consequences.
Once you have experienced several boyfriends, learned that self control, and look at the world with more mature eyes, you will be able to find real love. Real love is not just a huge physical attraction. It's wanting the same things as adults How Guys Feel OK, guys, you know all about your sex drive. It's with you every minute of the day. However, just because you're genetically programmed to carry on the human race, it doesn't give you an excuse to go out and populate the world.
Most teenage guys are in lust, not love. There are exceptions to this, but here's a way to test out your feelings: If you're totally focused on her looks and body and already fantasizing about what she looks like naked and what it would be like to have sex with her, that's lust.
If you pressure her by saying, "If you love me, you'll do it," that's lust. If you don't really listen to her when she talks about her life, interests, friends, etc. If you want to or have sex and then brag about it to your friends, that's lust. If you don't want her involved in your life, except when you want sex, that's lust. For guys, lust is a very heady experience. The brain goes on vacation, and the red hot surges of testosterone run the show.
Guys are perfectly capable of engaging in sex without forging any emotional bonds with a woman, and often do. So, you're not responsible for all this You also have a brain, and it's your responsibility to keep it engaged Well, you need to think about that. If you want to be irresponsible and go out and get two or three girls pregnant, you can kiss your financial future goodbye. Ever hear of child support? Depending upon the state, you are financially responsible for your children until they reach 18 or 21!
And every hour 85 more teenage girls get pregnant! Now here's another thing to think about. Some girls, especially the youngest ones, WANT to get pregnant because they want a baby; and they'll do anything to get one.
She will tell you she's on the pill or other birth control, but you never really KNOW that's true. So it's very easy to be tricked into fatherhood, and it doesn't make any difference how it happened. You're still responsible for child support.
And don't think you're going to get away with saying, "It's not mine. Finally, are you familiar with statutory rape? Consequently, having sex with a girl under the age of consent could get you charged with statutory rape by her angry parents, and really ruin your life. Now all of this doesn't mean that guys can't fall in love, but it takes a lot of maturity to get to that point, and that usually doesn't happen in your teen years. Real love is the most ennobling of human emotions and makes the guy want to "be a better man" and to make a home and family with this person.
Lust So how do you tell the difference? When you're strongly attracted to someone and are feeling desire and longing for them, it's very easy to confuse this with real love; but it's not. Lust is purely physical with a need for gratification, and it is driven by hormones. Lust is short term, and love is for the long haul. Now let's take a look at love because it's not just physical attraction.