Consensual sex with a peer-age female 17 For example, John age 57 described an encounter he had as a year old with an older male who offered him money in exchange for oral sex: I went to the store. And I was by [street]…and this guy came up to me and said, Oh, how are you doing?
So he took me to a restaurant and got me some food and while we was sitting there eating he stuck his hand under the table and he grabbed me between my legs. So at first I was taken aback but then I started getting hard. So we went upstairs in the projects and he gave me a blow job and that shit felt good.
Then he said, Have you ever had sex? I said, What do you mean? He said, No, no, you can put it in my ass.
Maybe it was the first hole I stuck it in or whatever but it felt good. In this next excerpt, Outstanding age 47 discusses his first sexual encounter with a male, a tennis instructor he met through his sister: When was the first time you had sex with another man? Tell me about it. Well it was actually the tennis instructor that my sister was using because she was working in [name of hospital] and I was working there on a summer job.
And so that is when I first encountered having sex with another man and letting him penetrate me. That was my first time. And this was consensual? So you guys like knew each other? I come to know him. So you knew what he was about and he knew what you was about, made you an offer… O: And that is how it happened, pretty much. When was the first time that you had sex with a female…your first female sex was at what age?
Was the female around your age? About how much older? With a grown woman. Who hit on who? Did she hit on you? She always hit on me. She used to kiss me underneath the steps in the tenement building. So she would kiss you under the steps. She used to kiss me. She would call me in the hallway. I would be with my friends and she would call me into the hallway and push up against me and start kissing me. And then at some point, at age 12, you actually had what type of sex with her?
Was it vaginal sex? She actually had you put your penis in her? Later in the interview, Robert explained that the relationship went on for several years, that the woman used to give him money, and that his father knew what was going on and encouraged him to participate as it contributed to his development as a man: No, the first time it happened I thought I was the man because my father always told me, Boy, I think that woman like you. My father knew what was going on. He must have seen it.
My father was a player. He knew what was going on. He said, I think that woman like you. You better get that money, man. Several participants recalled more obvious examples of CSA despite their assertion that the encounters were consensual or that their age at the time did not matter. For instance, Boss age 46 describes having sex with his teacher, an authority figure, when he was just 7 years old: My first sexual contact with a woman was…I was 7. It was a school teacher.
And what did she do to you? She gave me oral sex. Did you tell anyone? That was your first. Now was it consensual? Of course it was, after I felt that sensation. I was like, Wow! You can say yes but if somebody had walked in there on her that was pedophilia.
Because you were a baby. We were playing doctor. Laughter This one was with a Caucasian woman, actually. I was 14 and she was about We were playing doctor, yeah, with my little fresh self. So we went…so that is where oral came in. So you performed oral on her? No, she performed oral sex on me. Did that relationship continue? No, it was a one-time thing. Did you know her? Was she someone you knew? It was somebody I knew…a close neighbor of mine. Barney age 42 explains how his first sexual encounter with a female, described as a prostitute, led him to continue searching for women that he could pay to have sex with him: The first time I had sex with a female I was 15 years old and it was with a prostitute.
Did you enjoy it? I enjoyed it because I felt like she was more experienced than me so I felt like the things she was doing to me was things that I could never imagine…After that it was like every day I wanted to have that sexual pleasure…the orgasm to come. When you were 15? So who did you find? I would go to like bars and women would strip and dance in the back…the shady bars in Brooklyn and I would wait for the woman to come over and talk to me and I would tell her that I want to engage in sex with her.
We further examined potential differences in adult risk-taking behaviors between those participants who described consensual experiences that met conditions for childhood sexual abuse and those who reported unwanted abusive experiences discussed in the previous section. More of the men who described their CSE as consensual also reported that they had ever engaged in exchange sex i. However, both groups of men were nearly equivalent with regard to their use of alcohol and marijuana.
Consensual bodily exploration with another male or female child Only a small number of men reported that their first sexual experience occurred during childhood with another child.
They described sexually oriented behavior that did not reach the level of vaginal, oral or anal intercourse. In this example, Derek age 43 tells the interviewer about a sexual experience with a male childhood peer when he was 12 years old: It was just like a childhood friend. I can remember ejaculating but nothing came out.
And then eventually something started coming out. But yeah so I would say Smith age 37 described his first same-sex encounter as occurring with his best friend when he was only 6 years old: The very first time when I was maybe like 6. He was like 7 or 6, like my age, and I guess he knew what he was doing. He was kind of experienced for that age.
When you say he knew what he was doing, what did he do? He knew how to touch me, fondle me; he knew the right spot and he also was kissing too. So, again, for that person at that age it was kind of weird to know that he knew about sex.
And he was the first one who taught me and I was his first and basically I was only his first. After periods of time, as I got real older, I found out the truth and it was his father molesting him.
As shown in the interview excerpt, Mr. This type of bodily exploration was also common with opposite-sex childhood peers. Smooth age 49 discussed a sexual encounter he had with a girl from his hometown when he was 13 years old: