A new survey reveals how typical your romance is Pepper Schwartz , Dr. But what about everyone else's? In a survey that's still under way, more than 8, people over 50 have already revealed what happens in their relationships — and in their bedrooms. Read on for a look at 14 survey questions, think about how you would answer and see how you stack up with the results thus far.
Then take the larger survey yourself. See the sidebar below to learn how. Do you kiss or hug your partner in public? But public displays of affection PDAs, for short are great for your relationship: Don't hold back — and don't worry what the neighbors might think. The sight of a lip-locked couple generally makes other people happy — and shows that deep affection and love can thrive in long relationships.
You can be part of the largest relationship study ever conducted and learn how your "normal" compares to that of others. Visit The Normal Bar's interactive survey. It can take you just a few minutes — or more, if you really get into the fun of answering questions and checking out the survey's results.
Have you given up an important part of yourself to keep your relationship together? Happy partners encourage each other's ambitions and passions. If you're feeling shut down, plan together how to change your daily life to support your core hopes and needs. Have you ever read your partner's email? Surprisingly, that percentage prevails in both happy and unhappy relationships. Most partners feel violated when they learn their privacy has been breached.
Are you sure you want to go there? How often do you hold hands with your partner? But it seems to be the newer pairs who are skewing the numbers: Among all couples who've been together 10 or more years, more than half say they no longer hold hands. A squeeze of the hand can add a vital charge of connectivity to a well-worn partnership. Research shows that holding hands can even help settle arguments. How frequently do you tell your partner you love him or her?
More than 90 percent of men tell their partner " I love you " regularly, while only 58 percent of women do the same. Among our happiest couples, 85 percent of both men and women say those three little words at least once a week. No need to gush. A daily "I love you" seems to do the trick. Say it at the end of a phone call or when you go to bed at night.
Do you ever get the sense that your partner has sex with you out of a sense of obligation? Pick good, happy and rested times to suggest sex — and let your partner off the hook if he or she is not in the mood. But don't feel bad if you sense your partner is being dutiful once in a while. Many of the people who told us they have sex out of obligation also told us they were extremely happy in their relationships.
Pepper Schwartz Pepper Schwartz, Ph. A sociologist and author, Pepper seeks to improve the lives of aging boomers and the age plus audience by enhancing their relationships and offering advice on everything from sex and health issues to communication and dating in midlife and beyond. Have you ever used sex toys with your partner? Sex toys have gone mainstream and are easy to find online, in malls or even in many drugstores.
If you're curious, why not suggest a shopping trip to see what all the raves are about? How often do you kiss passionately? Kissing bonds partners more deeply. So set the stage at least once a week: It's easy to get back in the habit!
What do you most want from your partner that you are not getting? More than a quarter of men say they aren't having enough sex, while a quarter of women don't have the lifestyle they'd hoped for. Roughly 14 percent of men and 19 percent of women want more affection.
Four out of 10 men and 44 percent of women say their partner is fulfilling all their needs. To get more affection, give it. Offer a foot massage or a neck rub, use pet names and dress up occasionally just to please your partner.