Those interviewed prefer the term "surrogate partner" to "sex surrogate". The text documents the sexual struggles experienced by hundreds of individuals and introduced a new means of rectifying them.
Sex therapy was about to set off in an entirely new direction. Masters and Johnson found surrogate partner therapy SPT to be an effective solution to sexual dysfunction in single individuals. The course of treatment follows a triadic model including a client, a therapist and a surrogate partner. And yes, sex is sometimes one of them.
Don't let big tech control what news you see. Get more stories like this in your inbox, every day. Andrew Heartman serves as secretary and training coordinator for the International Professional Surrogates Association. That seems logical enough. As time progresses, so do our attitudes toward sex.
We have less than 50 certified surrogate partners in the country now, with about 20 or 30 therapists who are actually members of IPSA.
When I asked why, Dave explained that the sexual revolution had been marinating for around 20 years, and the need for this form of therapy was starting to show. But when the AIDS epidemic hit, many surrogates decided to stop working.
This is also when conservative organizations like the Moral Majority, the Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family began to emerge and gain in social and political relevance. In the years since, surrogate partner therapy has started to resurface and reenter the conversations about sexual health. And the demand for male surrogates is growing.
Andrew Heartman says one of the most important parts of his job is helping the client establish her boundaries and making her comfortable communicating them, a point he learned to address early on in his career. And things appeared to me to be going okay. Even if she thinks they want something different. There are certain things that are foundational. It also got me wondering, how do men working in the field avoid feeling creepy?
And what measures should they take if someone accuses them of being so? Heartman says there are a few reasons he feels comfortable doing this work. The first revolves around the involvement of the therapist. The therapist generally gets to know the client before the surrogate is involved, and is able to assess whether SPT would be appropriate for this client.
They would not be doing so unless they really wanted to heal their difficulties with physical and emotional intimacy. It's not a decision that is taken lightly. Every client I've ever had is genuinely appreciative of the help. Women are anatomically able to have sex whether or not they are aroused.
But men require erections. And I say, Well yeah, of course. If I handle the situation with grace and comfort, the client will be able to also, both with me and with her future partners. All surrogates must find a way to synchronize their professional responsibilities with their personal lives. They also have to be prepared should the two ever be at odds. Luckily, both Heartman and Dave are based in California, a hub of sex positivity. Heartman has been in a committed relationship for the past nine years, and explained his intention to become a surrogate partner the night of their first date.
Personally, for me, I usually have like one at a time. And I have a regular job. Most everybody else does… [You do it] because you feel like you have a calling to do it You want to help other people become fulfilled in their sex lives and in their relationships.
You want to help people who have had issues with sex. But as my conversations progressed, something became clear. History has largely excluded women from conversations pertaining to the pursuit of sexual pleasure. They need a lot of help regarding their sexuality, especially trans people who have different body parts than they used to. And surrogate partner work would be a great help to them. It's not a cheap thing to undertake. Clients are not paying for sex.