You'll know if you can trust them. It gives you more time to know someone's character. For many people, waiting to have sex can allow them to see if the person they're about to get into bed with is someone that they can have faith in. The more you get to know someone, the more you can suss out their character, and try to figure out if they're someone who won't take advantage of you, won't go further than your limits, and will respect you.
Have a longer dialogue about sex, even if you're not having it. The longer you wait to have sex with your partner, the more you can have conversations about your sexual preferences, limits, kinks, and fantasies. There is something appealing about the wait. When you wait, you build up sexual tension and fantasies, which can make the whole thing way more fun, Whitney said. You can look forward to it, fantasize about it, maybe talk about it — and that's really sexy.
The two of you get to savor the messing-around stage and learn each other's body. Sex can deepen a bond that you've already created. For some it's just a physical act, but for others, sex can be a powerful and emotional act that can bond you and your partner. When you wait to have an emotional connection with that person and then have sex, it can be a way to bring you two even closer. Sex is more satisfying when there is an emotional and physical connection present in the experience.
It will give you both peace of mind if you know your status. Ideally you and your partner should both have an up-to-date sexually transmitted infections test, but if you haven't, waiting is a great way to give both of you time to get tested. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, by the way, recommends that every sexually-active person is tested once a year. This way, you can both know your status going into the relationship and seek treatment if needed.
Waiting on sex can help you improve on the other stuff. Putting off sex with someone can allow you to get really good at kissing, foreplay, and other affectionate acts that people often gloss over while getting to the "main event. If these studies are to be believed, it can add some strength to your blossoming relationship.
Shutterstock While every relationship is different, studies have shown that there may be something to the act of waiting to have sex in a relationship. A study from Cornell University surveyed couples about their relationship happiness, habits, and other intimate questions. Researchers said that participants who waited at least six months to have sex with their partners were actually happier than those who didn't. Another study, conducted by Illinois State University communications professor Sandra Metts , found that waiting to have sex until after couples said "I love you" had a positive impact on the relationship.
There is no magical timetable, but if these studies are to be believed, waiting just a little bit can do some good. If you find yourself bonding quickly to those you sleep with, waiting can give you some room to protect your heart. This can be powerful and helpful with the right person, but if you've coupled off with the wrong one, those feelings of attachment can leave you feeling bound to something unhealthy.
And that may mean that even though the two were a match, other issues got in the way of them ever determining that. Find out if you're on the same page. If you're a person who only wants to have sex with someone you're in a committed relationship with, the best way to do that is to wait until you feel some commitment from that person first before you take the plunge.
Sometimes, the less kind among us can say one thing in order to get what they want, and their intentions may not be so pure. A real partner will respect your wishes and come to a compromise with you about a time-frame and level of commitment you're both comfortable with.