Share this article via email Share this article via sms Share this article via flipboard Copy link Time for a chat Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro. Whether online, in a baby-group or a coffee-shop gathering the conversation would be pointless and confusing to the uninitiated. In fact most of it would seem squeamish, strangely scientific or silly.
Here are the top ten topics discussed by new mums. Their babies Well obviously, but the minutiae of detail is extraordinary. From how many milk spots are on their noses to how many hairs are on their heads. Their birth Women straight out of the very raw environment of the delivery room can be pretty unshockable, so where better to share just how much tearing and burning there was than with other new mums? I mean your workmates are unlikely to want to hear every single gory detail and you are going to want to talk about it.
Their boobs Are yours still hurting? Mine have gone square. Why are my nipples nearly black? Do these veins go away? I now own 38 bras. OMG I got wet patches on my new top. Ella Byworth for Metro. Who understands just how hard it can be than someone else in exactly the same situation? Sex When can you? And, more importantly, how? The first to get back in the saddle may have some tips.
Failing that you can all comfort yourselves that probably no one is getting any. How does it smell? How many times a day? And was it runny? Oh yes, new mums can discuss the contents of their babies nappies for hours!
Giving yourself a break I did the bedtime routine in under an hour last night. Well, I skipped bathtime. Weaning and Eating Picture: Expect plenty of chat about whether to wait the full six months and how to mash bananas and avocados. Oh and that mum who exclaims her little darling was confidently using a knife fork before their first birthday, while yours is still pushing porridge up their nose, is probably lying.
And onto the next one? Seems everyone has got an opinion on how many babies you should have. New mums are judged constantly and probably understand how frustrating it is to hear the questions about Number Two. Only you and your body know what you are going to do next. This light-hearted post is only based on my own experiences.
If you are concerned about anything to do with your mental or maternal health always seek help.