I like being filmed but not watching it back Or vice versa. Can you identify if there is a particular aspect of the filming process that bothers you? For example you might find the filming experience too intense and would rather create other erotic entertainment with your partner. Such as describing your fantasies on camera, over the phone or in a letter.
However, some people report the awareness of filming prevents them getting into sex or emotionally connecting with their partner. Some people report cuddles, closeness, loving words or gentle touch may be swapped for more graphic scenes. You may want to prioritise these over more explicit scenarios.
Alternatively you may feel close while making very graphic or complex films, but are finding your partner is unsure about this. Closeness can be experienced in different ways, but again discussing together what you want to try and respecting those choices could be helpful. It makes me feel invisible While you may assume being filmed puts you at the centre of the action some people report the focus of their partner is on filming rather than them.
Requests to act out particular scenes can seem more about performance than pleasure. You taking charge of filming could change this, as might being specific with your partner about ways to help each other feel present during filming. Fears over identification People can worry about being identified if the films they make become publicly available.
Mia More suggests if you want to film but are worried about being recognised, dressing up in a costume, a wig or mask could help as might not filming your face. She recommends filming in disguise to avoid any problems if your film is shared without your consent.
Problems can arise if one partner feels every time you now have sex it has to be filmed, especially if the novelty has worn off for the other party. Suggesting it remains an occasional treat may work as an alternative, although it is more of a concern if a partner feels the only way they can become excited is through filming. Rather than feeling empowered by the process it might make you feel less comfortable and more exposed.
Uncertainty over the legality of what you are filming Some people are unsure if filming sex is legal. If you are unsure, it may be better not to film yourself.
Many people create films and only enjoy them with each other. Or if they share images they both actively consent to this.
Either to try and keep you with them or to punish you for leaving. Clearly these cases are for the police to deal with, although people may feel so embarrassed about having films made public or afraid their contents could get them into further trouble that they stay silent.
If you are experiencing communication problems about your wants and needs in an otherwise positive relationship, counselling may help you both share more openly what you both want. However, if your partner is making you do certain things on camera that you dislike, you may consider either ending the relationship or getting support from a domestic abuse organisation.
Even if you previously enjoyed filming, if it is something you no longer like your partner has no right to insist you continue with it.
Or that you feel able to approach it again with confidence. It may be there are other relationship issues you need to attend to. Or that you wish to discuss with your partner the reservations you have about filming with a view to having a break from it.
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