Women in their 70s Zero interest in locating a sex partner is very liberating. Sex with a person can be complicated and is hard work and, in my experience, rarely worth the energy.
Sex with my Hitachi is more rewarding, less complicated and not nearly as exhausting. Sex is not complicated when no other humans are involved — and far less risk. I feel more in tune with men at least 10 years younger than myself. That is the problem as middle-aged men go for women in their 40s: Pity the prejudices of a mature woman dating a much younger male!
It seems that the other way around is fine! Outliving my vitality has not made me feel happy, free or wise. Dwindling libido can assuage somewhat the grief of persistent loneliness. Yes, it is a kind of blessing. My libido is flourishing, thank you very much!
As though I was addicted to drugged. I wasted so much of my life being obsessed with men. A vast waste of time. I look back with some regret at the years I wasted on men. Such an amazing world to discover, so little time. The hardest part is getting used to what I see in the mirror, and watching people react with revulsion to my ageing face. No more chasing rainbows that turn into hell-holes.
No more longing and yearning. No more not feeling good enough. I had zero sex drive until my gyno prescribed testosterone cream. It made a huge difference. Sex toys are my best friends. I experience this as a kind of liberation.
I have new respect for the power of the biological urge now that hormones are releasing their hold on me. I had always been a very sexual person up until my 40s, when I seemed to lose interest. But just a few days after my operation, I had strong sexual urges and experienced my first post-op orgasm soon after. I feel sexual every day as opposed to sexy — I am a fat, scarred old grandmother after all!
Having lost my libido before my surgery, I do understand where Steinem is coming from. Men my age who are available are only ever looking for young totty. I feel as though caught between the devil and the deep blue sea for trying to behave according to the norms for women. I feel the same. Looking back, I had two young children, a job and an unhappy marriage, so it would suggest my lack of sex drive in past years was affected by external factors.
I have more time to pursue what I really want in life and not be distracted by various sex-related mis adventures. I find it has also made me more appropriately assertive when it comes to dealing with male colleagues older and younger. In my teens and 20s, I felt ashamed of my body. I am confident in my skin in my mids.
No longer am I pre-occupied by what others think or say about me These external influences put restrictions on my sex life, but a long-term, loving partner combined with a comfort about my body mean that I have less anxiety about my sexuality. While my libido is less consistent, being in a committed partnership means I have flexibility and understanding. It occurs to me less to instigate sex, which I think my partner sees as a major concern.