Your daughter heard you having sex. When your kid catches you having sex.



Your daughter heard you having sex

Your daughter heard you having sex

My daughter heard my ex-husband having sex with his girlfriend. Is this child abuse? Dear Stop It Now! My older daughter described sexual sounds from him and his girlfriend.

My daughter begged me not to say anything to him, but I am extremely upset. Is this just inappropriate or is it abuse? We understand how important, and sometimes confusing, it can be to protect a child. What is Sex Abuse? Sexual abuse can indeed occur through both touching and non-touching behaviors and actions.

Understanding the Definition Child Sexual Abuse is often a helpful way to clear up some common misinterpretations of what child abuse is and is not. When a child witnesses or overhears a sexual encounter between adults, it could be accidentally or with intent.

Accidentally, walls may be thin and a child may be able to hear something from another room, or perhaps they unintentionally walked into the bedroom during a sexual act. Sometimes two adults may even have sex in the same room as a child, like when the child is an infant. Rather, look for patterns and repetitious behavior.

The bottom line is that your ex-husband should be aware that his daughter heard him and was uncomfortable, and that this should not happen again. Speaking Up Talking to your ex-husband, despite your daughter not wanting you to, would be a good next step.

You will of course respect her privacy but when safety is a concern, adults do need to make decisions about who to talk to. When you speak to your daughter's father, let him know what your daughter told you and that it made her uncomfortable.

Focus on your daughters' safety and well-being, and try to avoid an angry confrontation even though, I understand that you probably are very angry that he put your daughter in this position. However, the goal is to see him first as a partner in keeping your daughters safe.

Perhaps if he feels that you are not judging him, but rather are asking him to help you in creating the safest environment possible for your daughters, he will be more receptive to the conversation. As I said before, accidents do happen and it is not uncommon for a child to hear or even see their parents having sex. Perhaps, the two of you can talk about safety rules, such as not having intimate relations when children are in the same room, with hearing, or even awake.

Certainly, if you do suspect that he purposely let your daughter hear what was going on between him and his girlfriend, this could be reportable to child protection services. Safety Planning Although it sounds like this may have been an awkward experience, this could be a great chance to talk about this real life situation to both of your daughters in an Age-Appropriate manner. Discussing healthy sexuality and development, as well as your values and rules about touching, privacy, and appropriate boundaries are the two keys to a family Safety Plan.

Safety planning is not just reactionary rules after a crisis, but a great everyday prevention tool. Teaching your daughters the difference between secrets and surprises may be helpful as well. Secrets are something that someone asks you to keep when their worried that it may hurt someone, or themselves, and often makes a person feel weird or sad when they have a secret.

Please check out the following resources, as you may find them useful when safety planning with your daughters: If they seem to be struggling with personal boundaries, or are preoccupied with sex or sexual behaviors, I would encourage you to seek the help of a professional, or to bring them to the pediatrician.

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Angry Kid- heard dad having sex with mum



Your daughter heard you having sex

My daughter heard my ex-husband having sex with his girlfriend. Is this child abuse? Dear Stop It Now! My older daughter described sexual sounds from him and his girlfriend. My daughter begged me not to say anything to him, but I am extremely upset. Is this just inappropriate or is it abuse? We understand how important, and sometimes confusing, it can be to protect a child.

What is Sex Abuse? Sexual abuse can indeed occur through both touching and non-touching behaviors and actions. Understanding the Definition Child Sexual Abuse is often a helpful way to clear up some common misinterpretations of what child abuse is and is not. When a child witnesses or overhears a sexual encounter between adults, it could be accidentally or with intent.

Accidentally, walls may be thin and a child may be able to hear something from another room, or perhaps they unintentionally walked into the bedroom during a sexual act. Sometimes two adults may even have sex in the same room as a child, like when the child is an infant.

Rather, look for patterns and repetitious behavior. The bottom line is that your ex-husband should be aware that his daughter heard him and was uncomfortable, and that this should not happen again. Speaking Up Talking to your ex-husband, despite your daughter not wanting you to, would be a good next step. You will of course respect her privacy but when safety is a concern, adults do need to make decisions about who to talk to.

When you speak to your daughter's father, let him know what your daughter told you and that it made her uncomfortable. Focus on your daughters' safety and well-being, and try to avoid an angry confrontation even though, I understand that you probably are very angry that he put your daughter in this position. However, the goal is to see him first as a partner in keeping your daughters safe.

Perhaps if he feels that you are not judging him, but rather are asking him to help you in creating the safest environment possible for your daughters, he will be more receptive to the conversation. As I said before, accidents do happen and it is not uncommon for a child to hear or even see their parents having sex. Perhaps, the two of you can talk about safety rules, such as not having intimate relations when children are in the same room, with hearing, or even awake.

Certainly, if you do suspect that he purposely let your daughter hear what was going on between him and his girlfriend, this could be reportable to child protection services. Safety Planning Although it sounds like this may have been an awkward experience, this could be a great chance to talk about this real life situation to both of your daughters in an Age-Appropriate manner.

Discussing healthy sexuality and development, as well as your values and rules about touching, privacy, and appropriate boundaries are the two keys to a family Safety Plan. Safety planning is not just reactionary rules after a crisis, but a great everyday prevention tool. Teaching your daughters the difference between secrets and surprises may be helpful as well. Secrets are something that someone asks you to keep when their worried that it may hurt someone, or themselves, and often makes a person feel weird or sad when they have a secret.

Please check out the following resources, as you may find them useful when safety planning with your daughters: If they seem to be struggling with personal boundaries, or are preoccupied with sex or sexual behaviors, I would encourage you to seek the help of a professional, or to bring them to the pediatrician.

Your daughter heard you having sex

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